All That Counts
by shannyfish
Summary: Pepper accompanies Tony everywhere. The weapons demonstration for the military in Afghanistan is no different. An AU to "Iron Man".
1. We were supposed to be safe

**Title:** All That Counts

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** Iron Man and Avengers do not belong to me, but Marvel Entertainment and Disney. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG-13 (for now)

**Summary:** Pepper accompanies Tony everywhere. The weapons demonstration for the military in Afghanistan is no different. An AU to "Iron Man".

**Warning: **none

**Author's Note:** I know this plotline has been done before, but hopefully this comes out as something different. Constructive criticism is as always appreciated! Check out my blog on my writing at

. . .

"_Letting it get to you. You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts." -The Doctor ('The Doctor's Wife')_

. . .

The screams seemed unending. She covered her ears as the tears flowed fluidly down her cheeks and the sobs escaped her chest. Covering her ears only muffled the screams, they didn't make them stop. She screwed her eyes shut and tried to imagine that they were home.

She wanted a happy thought.

No matter how much Tony frustrated her or pissed her off, no one deserved what Tony was going through. She wished that she could help, but Yinsen had told her that he'd call for her if he needed her help.

He hadn't called.

Tony had just continued to scream.

Having her eyes shut didn't help things either. All she could see was Tony's face…turning ashen as the life seemed to leave him. The blood that seeped from his lightweight Stark Industries Kevlar vest that he'd worn under his suit. She remembered the missile that had landed near them and the logo. She wondered if this was karma biting them in the ass after selling weapons…and Stark weapons obviously getting into the wrong hands. She just hoped that they'd fallen into the wrong hands…as far as she knew they weren't selling to enemies of the United States.

She remembered screaming his name as she ran to his side. She'd been slightly ahead of him and had gotten away practically unharmed. There was some shrapnel in her arm, but Yinsen had glanced at it long enough to tell her that it wasn't anything life threatening. She'd barely bled and hadn't wanted him to fuss over her, not when Tony was in such bad shape. Because she remembered that he was so much worse than just blood loss and his pallor. She'd been at his side when Yinsen had removed the vest. There was shrapnel imbedded into his chest…and dangerously close to his heart and lungs. Yinsen had promised that he'd do all he could to keep Tony alive.

She just hoped that it was enough.

Pepper sat in a dark corner and just waited. Her name wasn't called, but the screaming eventually stopped. Her heart sank as she opened her eyes, dropped her hands from her ears, and looked in the direction that Yinsen had been working on Tony. Was he okay? Was he dead? Her heart started to speed up as all of the thoughts started to spin in her head. She felt sick and dizzy.

"Ms. Potts."

She got to her feet and walked slowly towards the voice. Normally the only person who called her like that was Tony, but this time…it was Yinsen's voice. Pepper gasped when Tony came into sight. "What have you done?" she asked in horror. It was like Tony's chest had been opened up and something crude had been just dropped in it. It looked like a bomb. Like a bomb made of scraps…which she supposed was all they had there.

"The shrapnel…there was too much of it that was close to his heart," Yinsen explained as he gestured to his own chest. "Right now, he's alive…that's the important thing."

"But…what is it?" Pepper demanded. "Is it some kind of bomb? What do you want?" Her mind reeled as she tried to think of how this could get them anywhere. Did they want something from Stark Industries? More weapons? Ransom? She didn't see how this was helping.

Yinsen frowned at her. "I told you. I am a prisoner here as well," he said calmly. "This is not a bomb," he said as he tapped Tony's chest. "It's an electro-magnet…" His fingers followed the wires down to the car battery that sat nearby. "It's keeping the shrapnel from entering his heart… It was the best I could do."

Pepper gasped as the realization of how close to death Tony came hit her. She covered her mouth and more tears fell from her eyes. She turned away and tried to tell herself that she needed to calm down. She needed to stay calm for Tony. She turned back and tried to sound calm. "He's going to be okay, though, right?"

"Mr. Stark should wake up in a while…" Yinsen told her. "Though, the pain will be intense for some time as long as they do not supply me with pain killers…" Yinsen was quiet for a moment and then pointed at her. "And you… You must be very careful with these men… You need to be silent when they are in the room and do as I tell you… They will not lose any sleep over hurting or killing a woman…"

She watched international news. She knew how women were treated in Afghanistan, if that was still where they were. Pepper hadn't wanted to worry about it. She was still so worried about Tony. He was her boss, yes. He drove her crazy on a daily basis… But that didn't mean that she didn't care about him. He did far more than act as his personal assistant…she kept him alive and she tried to steer him in the direction of better choices when she could. So, Pepper nodded. She understood and appreciated what Yinsen was trying to do.

"Can I sit with him?" she asked.

"It may ease him to know that someone is here that he knows… Talking to him…" Yinsen told her. "I am going to go wash up in the meantime."

Pepper nodded. She sat down on the ground next to the cot and then looked up at the retreating form of Yinsen. "Doctor Yinsen?"

"Just Yinsen is fine," he told her as he turned back to look at her.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"You are welcome," Yinsen told her. "Though, I'm not sure how thankful Mr. Stark will be once he wakes…" He turned and continued back to where he had originally been heading.

Pepper turned back to Tony. He looked so still. Pepper didn't think she'd ever seen him so still. She looked at the crude magnet that had been implanted in his chest to keep him alive. She wasn't sure how he'd react, but she was thankful for Yinsen's ingenuity.

"Tony," she whispered and her voice cracked. She covered her mouth and tried to keep the tears at bay. He needs to hear a happy and familiar voice, she tried to tell herself. Crying was not going to do him any good. "Tony," Pepper tried again. "I'm here… I'm here when you're ready to open your eyes…" She felt silly for a moment. "I'm here whenever you're ready to rant or whatever you need to do… But you need to hold on… Rhodey's going to be here soon with the whole of the US military…" And she hoped to God that was true.

He was Tony Stark.

There had to be a rescue.

"And I'm sure you have a date lined up back home," she whispered. Pepper reached out and brushed the dark locks away from his face. Tony always had a new woman every night and she was the one that always had to clean up the next day. She would do it for the rest of her life without complaining if that meant that he lived.

Pepper ran her hand along his cheek for a moment and he seemed to move his head just the slightest bit to lean into it. She smiled a little. Pepper was sure it was her imagination, but she liked to think that it was real anyways. "We're going to be home very soon… We'll get everything sorted… You'll be back and in your workshop with JARVIS in no time," she told him.

She didn't know how long Yinsen was gone, but she'd fallen asleep with her head resting against Tony's hand. He woke her as gently as possible.

"Let me look at your arm now," he said.

Pepper looked up at him. He'd cleaned up quite a bit and she almost felt horrible to have to get him bloody again. But the throbbing she was feeling argued with her. She just nodded and got to her feet, she leaned over and brushed the hair away from his face again before kissing his forehead. "I'll be close by," she whispered.

"You're lucky, you know," Yinsen told her as he worked on her arm. "It could have pierced your heart too," he said as he put one finger on her heart and one on the closest piece of shrapnel. He dug each piece out and she tried not to cry or scream, but there were two that were a bit deeper. She didn't know how Tony could have survived all of the pain of the surgery that Yinsen had performed on him without pain killers.

"It shouldn't have been like this," she whispered.

"You do realize that your boss was doing a weapons demonstration of a new weapon…in a war torn country, don't you?"

Pepper sighed. "We were supposed to be safe."

"We're never safe," Yinsen told her.

Rhodey had promised that they'd be safe.

Tony had promised her that she'd be safe.

. . .

Men had come and gone. They'd only been interested in Tony. She'd done as Yinsen had said. She'd remained silent, kept her gaze at the ground, and tried to be invisible.

She didn't know how much time had passed. All she knew was that it seemed like too much. They should have been found by now. She sat there, staring at Tony. Pepper was glad that she'd worn a pantsuit rather than her normal skirt. She had figured that it would be the most comfortable and Rhodey had impressed upon them to dress appropriately. Tony had even convinced her to wear a Kevlar vest. She still had it on, though she didn't know why. Yinsen had told her to keep it on, that it might have been what had kept her safe. Her shoes had been lost along the way to wherever they were. So, whenever her feet would start to chill, she'd sit cross-legged in an effort to keep herself warm enough.

He'd whispered her name a couple of times before he finally woke. She was sure it was because he was used to asking her for everything. Tony Stark called and she ran to his side ready to do whatever it was that he needed.

"Hey," she whispered and she couldn't keep her smile at bay. She was so absolutely thankful to see him with his eyes open. "Don't move… You were hurt—"

"Where the _hell _are we?" Tony asked.

Pepper frowned. "We're being held… There was a missile…"

"One of mine."

She nodded. She felt like it was good that he was remembering, even if she was sure that it would be nice to forget as well. "Yes."

"What do they want?"

Pepper looked to Yinsen and then back to Tony. "We don't know…"

"Have they done anything to you? Hurt you? Touched you?" Tony asked as he tried to sit up.

Pepper pushed him back down, mindful of the magnet in his chest and the leads to the battery sitting nearby. She had her hands on his shoulders and was trying to be gentle. "Rest…Tony…"

"Pepper—"

"I'm fine. They've ignored me. Yinsen's made sure of it," Pepper explained.

Tony just stared at her. "Who's _Yinsen_? What kind of name is that? _Yinsen_." He made a weird face and exaggerated the name as he said it.

"He saved your life," Pepper told him and made a face for him to behave. She and Tony had been working together long enough, she was sure he knew her faces. Especially that one. She turned and gestured to Yinsen. "This is Doctor Ho Yinsen and he's who is responsible for your being alive."

Yinsen just stayed back and bowed his head slightly.

"Great… Great to meet you," Tony said, his voice dry and a bit sarcastic.

"Let me get you some water," Pepper said and headed off to retrieve what she could. The sound of the men coming worried her. She turned and saw Yinsen motioning for her to stay where she was. So, she did. She knew she could be seen from the door…and she did what she always did. She sat down and stared at the floor and tried to be invisible, but she found herself worrying about Tony.

"They're coming," he said. "You need to do as I do," Yinsen instructed Tony and helped him up to a sitting position.

"What the hell is this?!" Tony shouted.

Pepper's head snapped up and she could see Tony fighting Yinsen to remove the electromagnet in his chest. They hadn't gotten to that yet. They hadn't explained why it was there or what it was or how important it was to his survival. She didn't even think and got up to try to help. She knew that Tony hadn't had everything explained to him. "Don't! Tony!" she yelled at him and she pushed his hands down. "It's keeping you alive," she told him and their eyes met. It was then that they heard the whine of the door being opened…and she was where she wasn't supposed to be.

A man's voice spoke in what she could only guess was Farsi behind her. Pepper just tried to be invisible even though she was right there in front of Tony. She bowed her head a bit and stayed quiet.

"This is Abu Bakaar," Yinsen told Tony. "He is very happy to see that you are awake. He was worried about you."

Pepper noticed that Yinsen tried to keep a cheery, or as cheery as they could be, smile on his face as he translated for Tony. Yinsen had obviously been there long enough to know a few things… She just hoped that Tony would do as he said and follow his lead.

"I'm sure you are," Tony replied snidely to Abu.

Yinsen translated for Abu.

"Tony, please," Pepper barely whispered. She bowed her head again and stayed how she was, with her back to the men. She really wasn't supposed to be there. Yinsen had warned her and she'd stayed safe this long.

"What do you want?" Tony asked.

Yinsen translated again. Pepper just hoped that he was translating Tony's sarcastic and snide comments to something more polite. She wished she could do it, but she was supposed to be invisible and she didn't know the language.

She ventured a glance up at Tony; his eyes were hard and angry. Pepper had wanted to calm him, to try to keep them safe. To keep them all safe. This wasn't just about Tony. He needed to know that. He was so good at being arrogant, but sometimes it confused her how a genius about be so stupid.

Abu spoke again.

"He says that he has been waiting for you to wake up. That you are a guest of The Ten Rings."

"I don't feel like a guest," Tony said casually.

Yinsen made a face for a moment and then translated once again.

Pepper glared at Tony and mouthed for him to stop. She wanted to yell at him and try to explain their situation, since he obviously didn't seem to understand it. She caught Yinsen also looking at Tony.

The man laughed and seemed to still sound like he was in a good mood. He spoke again.

Yinsen translated. "He says that he can make your accommodations more comfortable."

"I like comfortable," Tony said. He looked directly over her shoulder to where she was sure the man stood. "You want something."

Yinsen spoke Farsi again, and again Abu replied. "He says that you are correct."

"I refuse."

Both Pepper and Yinsen stared at him for a moment. Yinsen looked a more than hesitant to reply to Abu. Abu didn't sound very pleased when he replied. "He says that you don't even know what he's asking yet…and he is prepared to be a very gracious host."

"I refuse," Tony repeated.

"Tony," Pepper whispered. He wasn't looking at her, but instead right over her shoulder, he was staring down Abu. Pepper was becoming increasingly worried. She was absolutely terrified. Would they just shoot them all? Would Rhodey even ever find their bodies? They wanted something, the very least he could do was hear them out.

He looked directly at her now. "No," he whispered.

Hands grabbed her and Pepper couldn't stop the scream of surprise as she was pulled back. His voice was now incredibly close. Abu. Farsi was spoken now practically in her ear and he sounded quite upset. She didn't even know if he had a gun on him or if it was just the other guards that she knew where in the room.

"He says that I need to talk some sense into you," Yinsen told Tony.

"Let her go," Tony said quickly.

"Stark—" Yinsen tried to argue.

"_Tell him_ to let her go," Tony repeated.

Yinsen finally complied and was obviously not happy.

Pepper tried to keep calm, but it wasn't working. She was terrified and she was panicking. She knew she was panicking. Abu's hand traveled through her hair and she tried not to let out a sob. She had her eyes screwed shut and she just prayed that Tony would say he'd at least hear them out.

Abu spoke again.

"He said no," Yinsen told Tony.

"What do you want?"

Yinsen translated, waited, and then Abu spoke again. Yinsen almost sounded sad when he spoke this time. "He says that you didn't want to hear it before."

"Tell me!" Tony pleaded.

Pepper opened her eyes and could see the desperation in his eyes. She could see that he was sorry, that he hadn't meant for them to touch her. She wanted to say something, but she couldn't risk them hurting her…not in front of Tony. She was already being used against him and she didn't like it. She just hoped that they'd just shove her and Yinsen in another area. Pepper didn't want to think of them keeping her under guard. She shuddered at the thought.

Abu spoke again and before he could translate, the guards grabbed Yinsen and started to haul him towards the door. Abu spoke up again; his voice was confident and almost arrogant. He didn't seem to care that no one was translating for Tony.

"Stark, tell them yes!" Yinsen pleaded.

She didn't know what Abu had said, but the worst-case scenerios just popped into her head and she couldn't stop worrying about them. Pepper shut her eyes again and tried to force the tears to stop from falling, but they fell anyway.

"Don't you touch her!" Tony spat and when Pepper opened her eyes, he was lunging forward. The guards were removing Yinsen and two of them were holding Tony back. "Leave them here! They didn't do anything!"

Tony continued to yell as Abu removed her and the other guard removed Yinsen. She kept her eyes down. She didn't want to give them any reason to do anything to her. She remembered what Yinsen said. Pepper, unlike Tony, took advice and applied it. She just wish that Tony had listened…and that they'd had more time with him to explain what had happened…about the electromagnet in his chest.

. . .

His hand touched her skin lightly and Pepper shivered. The part of the cave she was currently in was much colder than where they'd been before. She was sure it was because there was no stove going for heat. It was just rock and cold. He put the scarf over her head and wrapped it around her neck loosely. He took a blanket and wrapped it around her and pulled it tight.

"This should keep you warm," Yinsen told her. "And this should help keep you under the radar, so to speak…"

"Tony won't like it," Pepper told him.

"He'll have to deal with it. We were lucky that they were willing to give us what they gave us," Yinsen told her. "We could easily freeze in here."

"They only gave us one blanket," Pepper pointed out. "We should sit together…"

"No," Yinsen told her and rubbed his arms.

"Yinsen—"

"Ms. Potts—"

"Pepper. Call me Pepper, please…"

He nodded a bit. "Pepper," he finally said. "They could hurt you for such closeness."

"You could freeze," Pepper told him. She didn't want to find him frozen and dead if they had to stay there long. She just couldn't think about it. Losing Yinsen meant losing the one person who knew what was done to Tony and also losing someone who knew what they should do. She couldn't be there alone.

"I won't watch them kill you…or worse," Yinsen told her. "I won't be responsible for that."

She was about to argue, but she could tell that he was serious and he was trying to be a gentleman. Pepper wasn't sure how well it would work to be chivalrous in the desert of Afghanistan, but she appreciated it. "You're a good man, Yinsen."

"He needs you more than he seems to know," Yinsen told her.

Pepper grinned. "I know."

"He doesn't."

"No. He doesn't."

"He will," Yinsen told her. "He's already learning this…" He smiled at her. "When you realize that you love someone who's right in front of you."

"Oh no," Pepper said quickly. "We're not—"

"No," Yinsen said as he continued to smile. "Not yet. But I know."

He just smiled at her and Pepper was quite confused. She and Tony… That's not how it was. She did everything and anything he wanted, but they weren't romantically involved…and she was fairly sure that Tony Stark didn't even understand the word 'romance' and 'involved' meant one night stands. He'd learn how Tony worked…or at least she hoped so.

Her thoughts turned to Tony and she started to worry. What if they were hurting him? What if they moved one of the wires? What if he was being his normal arrogant self? She had no idea if he was taking this seriously. She didn't even know how long they'd been there. She had no idea if Rhodey was looking for them…she thought for sure he would be, but then she'd started to worry if he'd been killed in the ambush on the vehicles. What if no one was looking for them? What if this was it? Stuck in a cave until they decided that they no longer needed them? Or at least until they decided to ransom Tony and then killed her and Yinsen…

. . .

She didn't know how much time had passed. At one point, they'd taken Yinsen and then brought him back and had given him a blanket as well. He didn't say anything and she didn't ask questions. Pepper had been completely terrified while he was gone and about the only conversation they'd had since he'd come back was his making sure that no one had touched her. Pepper was fairly sure that she'd just been completely forgotten. She'd had no food or water.

"He's stubborn," Yinsen said finally.

"You have no idea," Pepper whispered.

"Even if he's agreed by now, they're going to keep us here…to punish him."

Pepper nodded. She'd thought of that. It didn't make it any better. She just hoped that Tony didn't do anything stupid. She also wished that she knew what they wanted from Tony. He'd been so stubborn that they didn't even know that much. It was ridiculous.

"How long have you worked with him?"

"About eight years," Pepper said and realized what a huge chunk of her life had been devoted to Tony Stark. And really, it had been devotion…she'd spend more than eight hours a day there… Her job as Tony's assistant was more than forty hours a week. She was paid generously, but that didn't mean that it was an easy job. There was something about Tony, though, that kept her at his side.

"You are a saint!" Yinsen told her with a smile.

Pepper smiled in response. "I wouldn't go that far."

"You underestimate your importance," Yinsen told her. "And I want to point out… You shouldn't worry… They have kept you alive this long… They intend to keep you that way, most likely to keep Mr. Stark in line."

"So far that's really not working very well."

"It will, though," Yinsen told her. "Every man has a weakness… And for most men, it's a woman."

"No, Tony and I—"

"You have told me… That doesn't mean that you're not his weakness."

Pepper didn't respond. Instead, she looked down and just thought about it.

. . .

TBC…


	2. Stay Alive

**Title:** All That Counts

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** Iron Man and Avengers do not belong to me, but Marvel Entertainment and Disney. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG-13 (for now)

**Summary:** Pepper accompanies Tony everywhere. The weapons demonstration for the military in Afghanistan is no different. An AU to "Iron Man".

**Warning: **none

**Author's Note:** I know this plotline has been done before, but hopefully this comes out as something different. Constructive criticism is as always appreciated! Check out my blog on my writing at

. . .

"_Letting it get to you. You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts." -The Doctor ('The Doctor's Wife')_

. . .

When the men finally came, they didn't come with water or food or blankets… They hauled Yinsen up to his feet and she screwed her eyes shut and looked down towards the floor as she sat in the corner. Pepper wanted to get up, grab Yinsen, and tell them not to take him, but she knew that wouldn't do either of them any good. She raised her head up just enough to see that Yinsen's blanket had fallen to the ground.

It was a moment before she saw the feet coming for her as well. Pepper ducked her head again and screwed her eyes shut once more. She hoped that if she went back to her invisible state that they'd leave her alone.

They didn't.

Pepper was hauled up to her feet and she still tried to do everything to be invisible. They yanked the blanket from her grip and she didn't fight it. She heard it fall to the ground and she was just pushed forward. They pulled at the scarf that Yinsen had covered her head with.

Tears stung at her eyes as she continued to look at the floor. Where were they going? Were they ready to kill them now? Pepper sucked in breath and tried her best to keep her sobs contained. She was so terrified…and all she wanted…was to see Tony…

Before she could really process anything, someone had grabbed her hair. She was yanked backwards and she couldn't contain the scream that left her lips. Pepper's face connected with a wall and sobs finally escaped her. Hands were on her and she started to wonder if she needed to fight. Maybe this was the only chance she'd have, but Pepper worried that it would just make things worse.

She froze when she heard Yinsen yelling. It was Farsi or some other language that she didn't understand. They seemed to stop and then the hall was filled with yelling. Pepper was just happy to have the hands off of her. She tried to breathe, but found another sob escape instead. She kept her hands on the wall, but looked down around at her feet. She saw the scarf lying on the floor only inches from her foot. Looking to her left just slightly she could see a pair of guards and to her right was where everyone was currently arguing. Pepper quickly reached down and snatched up the scarf. It only took her a moment to cover her head with it again and tie it into place. Pepper tucked her hair under the blazer's collar trying to make sure that her hair was hidden completely. She was just trying to get herself back in order as close to how Yinsen had it before without the guards thinking that she was provoking them.

The yelling died down and Pepper just waited. She didn't know what was happening. She dared not look in either direction. So, she just remained where she'd been. She tried to focus on breathing and she tried to keep calm. There was nothing else she could really do right now anyway. The touch at her shoulder made her jump and Pepper held her breath. Though the touch was light and gentle, it still brought fear. Her mind raced and she just wanted to break down right then and there.

"Ms. Potts," he said. And she hadn't been so happy to hear Yinsen's voice since they'd arrived. "Come with me," he said evenly and calmly.

Pepper turned, keeping her eyes down. She felt one of his arms wrap around her shoulders and she wondered if this was okay since he'd just had an argument or if this was signaling something else. She didn't know. All she knew was that she felt a little safer. They walked down the hall and as she heard a door shutting behind them, she didn't move until it was completely latched and Yinsen moved away from her. Slowly, she lifted her head and noticed that Yinsen was by the cot that Tony had been on before.

Tony…

They were back where they had been. And Tony- She froze when she noticed that Yinsen was looking over someone. Her heart felt like it stopped for just a moment. Her breath caught in her throat and she felt like the world was ending… "Tony," she finally breathed. She took a step forward and tried to remind herself to breathe.

"He's alive," Yinsen announced. It was as if he knew what her question was before she asked it. "The electro-magnet is still in place and all the connections are okay… That's the good news."

And she immediately saw the bad news when he came into better view. Tony was completely black and blue. Tears ran down her face and she couldn't keep the sobs at bay. She covered her mouth and then covered her whole face with her hands. She wanted out of the nightmare that they'd found themselves in. She wanted to be home…she wanted her schedules and her impossible boss…she wanted the arguments and the banter…she wanted all of the fixing that she was so used to doing. She sunk to her knees and just allowed herself to ball her eyes out.

Yinsen didn't bother her. Pepper was thankful for the space and just assumed that he was looking over Tony while she had her breakdown. Pepper was sure that it was better that she was doing this while Tony was unconscious. He didn't need to see her like this. He didn't need to feel like this was his fault. It wasn't. Not really. No matter how they spun it, this wasn't his fault…

"Pepper…"

His voice was weak, but she gasped when she heard it and it was like it froze her tears in place. The sobs got stuck in her chest and she breathed raggedly for a moment before moving to his side. She noticed that Yinsen was hovering, but didn't care. "I'm here," she whispered. "I'm here, Tony…"

Tony's dark eyes met hers and she could see the pain and worry in them. He looked confused. One of his battered arms reached up and his hand pulled at the scarf that had been wrapped back around her head. Pepper immediately, without even thinking, removed it and let her scarlet locks fall back over her shoulders. His fingers touched her hair at first and then her cheek.

"I'm here," she whispered again as she leaned into his touch.

"Di..th…hur…yo…" was all he managed to get out and then started to cough.

It took her a moment to process what he was saying. He sounded tired and almost hung over, though she knew he wasn't. "No," she whispered. "They just left Yinsen and I alone in another area…" It was mostly the truth. He didn't need to know anything else.

"Did you find out what they want?" Yinsen asked, finally speaking up.

"Jer-cho…" Tony mumbled.

Pepper just stared at him and the tears started again. "You can't give them that," she told him. She hated saying it because she wanted to go home, but it was the truth. They couldn't do that. The Ten Rings would use it against innocent people…helpless people…and their own military. Stark Industries and especially Tony Stark couldn't be responsible for those deaths or that kind of destruction. It wasn't like they were asking for him to just build anything, they were asking for the latest and greatest thing that Tony Stark had created that caused the most destruction…

"I know," he said and coughed again.

"You have to at least_ pretend_ to work on it," Yinsen told them both. He was clearly upset. "They _will_ execute us," Yinsen said as he motioned between him and Pepper. "They _will_ kill us both if they think it will motivate you into building it for them… You say your friends are coming… They will be _too late_ if you keep fighting them."

"He's _too weak_ right now," Pepper told Yinsen as she looked up at him. "Even if he _wanted_ to do it…"

"You tell them _yes_," Yinsen told him. "They'll bring more medical supplies… You can both have pain killers… You both need antibiotics…"

"Pepper?" Tony said as he stared up at her.

She stared back down at him and sniffled a bit as her fingers ran along his cheek. "I'm okay," she told him again. She sighed and brought attention to the places in her blazer that had been destroyed by flying shrapnel from the missile that had landed far too close to them. She pulled her arm out of the sleeve and cringed at the pain. She showed him where it had hit her. "The vest too most of it," she explained. "Yinsen pulled out the shrapnel…" Pepper pulled the blazer back on and adjusted it into place. "I'm fine, Tony…"

"If either of you catches infection, it will be not only painful but you _will die_ as well…and it will not be comfortable," Yinsen told them. "If you truly think that help will come, then it's time you _think_ about _surviving_."

"How long have we even been here?" Pepper asked and turned to Yinsen for the answer.

"I don't know honestly," he told her. "_Too long_."

Pepper had to admit that Yinsen's words were the truest thing she'd heard since they'd been in there. She thought and tried to think of another way around it. She was sure that she was okay without the medicine that Yinsen was saying that they could get if they actually built a Jericho…but what about Tony? She looked back down at him and stared at the electro-magnet in his chest. The surgery had been done under horrible conditions and she knew that it was completely possible that Tony could die of infection…and she was sure that it would be worse and spread quickly if the infection were in his chest…

"All I know is that being alive right now is all that counts," Yinsen told them.

Tears continue to fall down her cheeks. She turned back and stared down at Tony. They had to do what Yinsen said. They needed to survive…at least long enough for help to arrive. "We have to," Pepper finally told him. "I know you don't want to…and we both know what it might mean if The Ten Rings actually gets their hands on a Jericho, but Tony…we need to let Rhodey find us."

"He's taking his sweet ass time," Tony finally got out after a bit of trouble. He seemed more coherent and clearer now. Pepper wasn't sure if it was merely because he was more alert or if it was something else. Either way, it was sort of nice to hear him sound more like Tony.

"_Please_," she pleaded. "We have to at least make it look like you're building it." She was pleading for his life. She wanted to survive, of course, but this was Tony Stark…and Pepper knew that he had so much more to offer the world. He had so much more potential in this world than building weapons. Weapons had just been what he'd lucked into and what he'd been good at. There was so much more inside of him, though…

"We are all going to have to do our part in the charade," Yinsen told Pepper. "We need to look like we're_ all_ needed…"

Pepper nodded. "We can do it."

"I don't like this," Tony grumbled.

"You don't have to," Pepper told him. "But you need to do whatever you can to stay alive…" She was quiet a moment and then added. "Plus, who will talk to JARVIS or yell at Dum-E or any of the others?"

He smiled a little and it was enough. "We _all _need to stay alive."

"And Ms. Potts needs to stay under the radar," Yinsen said. "I have _seen_ how these men look at her… She is a beautiful woman…and her coloring makes her exotic to these men… They'd do_ anything_ they wanted to her…hurt her…rape her…pour acid on her face… You have to think of_ her_ as well when dealing with them… They will not hesitate to use her in anyway to get you to cooperate with them."

Pepper looked down at him. His smile disappeared and he looked extremely serious. "They did something…" Tony said.

Sighing, she turned away from him. "They were going to… Yinsen stopped them…" Pepper closed her eyes and tried to banish the memories of the hands all over her and being slammed into the wall. Her face ached here and there and she was sure that there would be bruising in the morning. She reached down and picked the scarf back up. Yinsen was right; she needed to go back to trying to be invisible. She could do it, she knew she could… But she needed Tony to be behave…or at least be on his best behavior… She couldn't fix things, not with these men…

Pepper pulled the scarf around her neck and then started to twist her hair. She didn't have pins or anything, but managed to get her hair to stay in a bun before lifting the scarf to cover her head again.

"No," Tony told her as he reached out to stop her.

She ignored him and fixed the scarf before tying it in place. Pepper pulled in breath and forced herself to remain calm. She hated being like this. She didn't like wearing it. She had no idea how the women who were fully covered did it. She was in regular clothes and then her head was just covered and she felt so much anxiety… Maybe it was just all of the 'what ifs' and the knowledge of what the men could do to her that was hitting her…

"_I have to_," Pepper told him as she turned back to him. "It's going to help keep me safe…"

"_Please_, Mr. Stark," Yinsen pleaded. "I am surprised that they did not kill me for keeping them from doing whatever they had planned to do to her… This is what I know to keep her safe… You may not like it, but you and I…we can do things to keep her safe."

"Pepper," Tony said. "I promise you a vacation once we get home… Anywhere you want. I'll buy you a whole island if it's what you want."

Pepper just laughed and tears fell from her eyes again. "I never get a vacation." And right now, she didn't care. She'd happily go back to that…

"That's going to change."

"I'm going to hold you to it," she told him. She wouldn't, though. Pepper wiped away the tears and then looked around. She knew that she needed to find a place that she would need to stay in if the men returned.

"How are we going to keep her safe?" Tony asked Yinsen.

"I can tell you what we must do," Yinsen told him.

"And then the second order of business is going to be to solve how the hell we get out of here…"

"I thought you said that people would be searching for you," Yinsen said.

"I don't know how well they're searching if they haven't found us yet," Tony pointed out.

. . .

"Are you ready to speak now?"

"Yes," Tony responded. Even from where Pepper was, she could hear him and she knew that he was being calm and even with the man. That was what they'd talked about and it was so important right now. They needed to survive. That was all. They needed to play along and try to play by The Ten Rings' rules. Just for now. Just long enough for help to get there or for them to get out.

"I have been told that you have thought over our offer."

"I have."

Pepper started to pray. She just hoped that Tony contained himself and did what they'd talked about. She was fairly sure that Yinsen had scared him straight. She'd seen the looks that Tony had given her and she'd started to wonder exactly what Yinsen had told him. She'd slept, which had been nice, but she felt like she'd missed something. All she knew was that Tony had told Yinsen that they were going to have to work hard in order to look like they were building the Jericho while doing another project simultaneously. Tony wouldn't tell either of them what the project was yet though.

"That is a very good decision."

"Can I ask who you are?" Tony asked.

Pepper cringed slightly at his question, but was happy that Tony at least sounded calm and collected. She had to admit, she was wondering who the man was. It wasn't Abu Barkaar who had been here before. This man, unlike the other, spoke both English and Farsi or whatever he talked to the guards in. And his English was very good.

"My name is Raza," the man said. "You are being held by The Ten Rings, Mr. Stark. But I can assure you… If you cooperate and build us Jericho…we will let you all go…"

"Unharmed?"

"As long as you build it and give us no problems."

There was no way that they were getting out of there alive, Pepper realized. Tony was already planning on doing the special project. If they found out or thought that they weren't working on Jericho…what would he do? What would he do in order to motivate him to continue working? Pepper shuddered at the thought. Was this really going to work?

"I'm going to need some things…" Tony told him.

"Make a list."

"Already did," Tony told him and she imagined that he was handing it over as they spoke. "And I was hoping that it would be possible to get a few medical supplies…"

"Yinsen can write down what you require and we'll do our best," Raza responded. There was a pause. "You are both most efficient and cooperative today…" There was another pause. "There are no promises on these supplies… They may be difficult to attain."

There was an exchange of foreign language and all Pepper could tell was that it sounded like Raza and Yinsen talking back and forth. So far, Tony seemed to be on his best behavior, which was good. This was a start at least. It didn't mean that she didn't worry though.

"The woman," Raza said. "Where is she?"

"Back there," Yinsen said and Pepper imagined that he was motioning to where she'd hidden away. "I did not figure that you needed to talk to her."

There was another exchange in a language Pepper didn't understand between them and she was more concerned this time since she was sure that it concerned her. She didn't know whether it was some kind of twisted concern or a threat and he was just letting Yinsen know…but not saying it directly to Tony. Which really, at this moment, would be the smarter thing to do.

"You'll have supplies soon," Raza said and then she could hear people moving, so she assumed they were leaving. She hoped they were leaving. She wanted to know what had happened. She had questions for Yinsen and she was still so proud of Tony.

"It's safe," Yinsen called after a few minutes.

Pepper got up from her spot and slowly moved towards them. Tony immediately wanted to remove the scarf, but she pushed his hands away. "They're going to be back, remember?" she asked. He looked worried and he looked frustrated. Never a good combo for him. "You did well… You did."

"I didn't like it," Tony said.

"She's right, though," Yinsen said.

"What were you and Raza talking about?" Tony asked before she could. She wasn't surprised though. They trusted Yinsen, but they had to. For all they knew, Yinsen was working with Raza and Abu.

"It's not important."

"He talked to you twice," Pepper spoke up. "And one of the times it was about me. I think I deserve to know what was said."

"It isn't important," he said again.

"You're going to tell me!" Tony yelled and pushed Yinsen up against the closest wall.

It was as if he was finally bursting after all of the patience he'd had when Raza was in the room. Pepper grabbed one of Tony's arms and pulled on it. "Stop! Tony! Let him go! Please!"

And finally, Tony listened. Pepper had started to worry that the guards would come through the door. If Yinsen made any noise, they would probably swarm in and there'd be hell to pay. She pulled him a step back to try to get more of a handle on the situation…or at least for Tony to take a breath.

"Tell me!" Tony shouted at him.

Pepper looked at Yinsen and pleaded with her eyes. She needed to know if she was in danger…and she needed to know if she was a danger to them. Pepper just basically needed to know. They all needed to know. There couldn't be secrets between them. There just couldn't be.

"He wanted assurances that you were telling the truth," Yinsen told them. "He wanted to know if you really meant to build him Jericho or if you were just buying time. I told him that you were going to do it. That we'd discussed how to build it and that's why we already had the lists ready… And I told him that we couldn't have you dying in the middle of building it because there would be no way for me to complete the Jericho."

"And what about Pepper?" Tony prompted.

She could tell he was angry and she just hoped that what Yinsen was going to say wasn't going to make it any worse. Pepper had a feeling that no matter what Raza said, though, that it was going to piss off Tony and he'd be worried and upset. And Tony without his head on straight wasn't going to do anyone any good. She wanted to tell him that she didn't want to know, but at the same time it wasn't going to help things to live in fear either.

"He asked if his men had injured her," Yinsen explained. "And then he reminded me of what they do to women… Not everywhere…and not all men…are horrible and violent…but most of them are here… Especially when it comes to women. It seems like whenever we get on the correct path, we back peddle…"

"Was he threatening her?"

"He was threatening us all when he said we needed to build Jericho and not give them problems," Yinsen reminded. "I think that doing something other than the Jericho is going to be classified as causing problems…"

"I need it," Tony said simply before walking away.

. . .

"Are you going to share about this project you're working on?" Yinsen asked.

They'd brought them food and the supplies they needed. They'd also dealt out some of the medications, but said that they could have more when they saw further progress. So, Yinsen had given both of them antibiotic and Tony had gotten a pain pill on top of it. Pepper honestly didn't need it. The pain wasn't that bad. It was more of an ache than anything else.

"Not right now," Tony admitted. He'd delegated work that she and Yinsen could do while he worked on his secret project. She was sure that he had his reasons, but she liked being kept in the loop. "I need it. That's all you need to know."

"Does this have anything to do with escaping?"

"Not directly," Tony said.

Pepper sighed and continued the project she'd been dealt. She was taking apart the Stark Industries weapons that Tony had told them that were needed to build Jericho. At least she knew how to use a screwdriver. It wasn't a big help, but it was something. And it kept her busy and made it look like they were all working on something. That was the main goal…keeping busy… She had a feeling that it helped keep them all sane too.

"You realize that those mountains," Yinsen said. "I'm not sure if you saw them… They surround this area… It's all mountains and caves…and nothing," he continued. He was quiet for a moment as he concentrated on his task. "They're called the Hindu Kush."

"Are you going someplace with the geography lesson?"

"It translates roughly to Hindu killer… Trying to walk out of this cave…and then out of here…this place… It's a bad plan. We'll die," Yinsen told him.

"We'll come up with something."

Pepper frowned. The longer they were there, the longer she wondered if Rhodey was still alive. But that didn't stop her from hoping. "Rhodey will find us," Pepper said, more for the reiteration more than anything else. She needed the hope. Tony needed the hope. They were going to go home…it was just taking longer than either of them expected.

"I'm just trying to be reasonable," Yinsen told them.

"I know," Tony admitted. "Just like I know there's no way in hell that Raza will keep his promise of letting us go even if I build him Jericho…even if I built him one hundred of them… He'd keep us…or ransom us…or kill us…or hurt us… He'd use us…and that's unacceptable."

Pepper had been thankful that they'd at least gotten some food. Yinsen had prepared something even though it hadn't tasted that great, no one had complained. She'd been surprised by that. She was so tired now, though. Maybe it was just that she was finally starting to feel human again.

"You need sleep."

She looked up to see Tony staring at her. "So do you."

"We probably all could use it."

"I am going to work a little longer… You two go," Yinsen insisted and motioned for them to go.

Pepper finished what she was doing and watched as Tony finished what he was welding. He was definitely working on a project, she just wasn't sure what it was… And right now, it really didn't matter. She retreated to the area that they'd set up for her. The old lumpy stained mattress that had been on the cot was on the floor and they'd set it up so that the cot lay on its side in front of it. They purposely did it to block the view if anyone were to enter. They wanted Pepper to have time to hear them, know they were coming, and move if she could. She sat down on the mattress and let out a sigh. She missed home so much. She missed her bed, her pajamas, socks, shoes, her hairbrush, and she missed her shower. They'd cleaned themselves off in the way of a glorified sponge bath, but it really wasn't the same. She still felt dirty.

The next thing she knew, another mattress was being tossed down near her. Pepper just looked up to see Tony tossing things around. She was about to say something when he dropped the car battery onto the floor and then collapsed onto the mattress. "What are you—"

"I can't lay here?" Tony asked.

"I just thought—"

"I'll feel better if I'm close by," Tony told her.

"Okay," she said and shook her head. She was just going to take it as Tony being Tony.

She froze when he reached out and was untying the scarf. "This can't be comfortable to be in all day long…"

"It—"

"You can sleep without it," Tony insisted. And before she could argue further, he had dropped the scarf and was running his fingers through her hair in order for it to drop from the bun that she'd forced to stay in place without pins or anything else to properly secure it with. She found herself breathing a bit deeply as she stared at him. "I know I have a lot to make up for."

She looked down and shook her head.

"I'm sure this isn't how you expected to spend your birthday," Tony told her. "I promised to have you home…"

"I knew I wouldn't be home in time," she told him honestly and looked up at him. "Remember… I know your schedule. Both of them. The one that I calendar for you and the times you decide to follow up with the schedule."

He smiled at her. "Still… I'll find a way to make it up to you."

"You don't have to—"

"And you're still getting a vacation…and an island…if that's what you want."

"What girl wouldn't want an island?" Pepper teased with a small smile.

She watched as his face changed and she could see that he was suddenly so serious. "You know I'm not going to let them hurt you."

"I know you're going to do your best."

"Pep—"

"Don't make me promises you can't keep," Pepper told him. "Some things just aren't in your control."

He frowned at her, but she didn't want to get her heart hurt. She didn't want him promising her that he'd keep her safe when he had no control over the situation. It wouldn't be good for either of their mental health…and then they'd probably both end up dead. That wasn't going to be good for their physical health either.

"Go to sleep," she told him.

"You haven't asked."

"Excuse me?"

"You haven't asked what I'm building," Tony pointed out.

Pepper shrugged. "I figure that it's important…and that when you're ready…you'll tell me…and Yinsen."

"I promise it's worth it."

"I know."

"Good night, Pepper," he whispered as he settled into the mattress.

Pepper pretended to settle in hers. As tired as she was. She didn't feel like sleeping. "Good night, Mr. Stark," she whispered with a smile on her lips. She realized for the first time since she'd come to work with Tony that she was going to be sleeping right there beside him…it was probably the closest she'd get to fulfilling any kind of crush she had on him. It was okay though. It was close enough.

She didn't sleep, though. Pepper stayed up throughout the night and watched over him. She was so worried that something would happen… She didn't know what. All she knew was that she needed to be there. He was asleep so quickly and she knew he was exhausted. She didn't know how he really was…if he was really feeling well enough to be up. If she had her way, he'd be at home in bed or in a hospital. She was sure that Tony would have opted for her to play nurse to him in bed at home.

And right now, she'd be okay with that.

Pepper sighed and just stared at him. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't be one of his conquests…and she was fairly sure that Tony had understood that without her explicitly telling him that. She didn't want to have a crush on him or love him in any way…it just complicated things… But here she was…with a crush on Tony Stark and here she was loving him… She honestly couldn't think of her world without him. Pepper was fairly sure that if she got to go on vacation on some island that she'd get bored and need to be running Tony's schedule, fielding calls, and taking care of the company.

It was part of her.

She missed it.

She missed it all.

Pepper reached out and gently stroked his bruised face. She relaxed and allowed herself to daydream a bit as she stared at him. Just watching him. She just thought about being back in Malibu and the day to day stuff that she was currently missing…

Home…

. . .

TBC…


	3. Trying to Cope

**Title:** All That Counts

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** Iron Man and Avengers do not belong to me, but Marvel Entertainment and Disney. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG-13 (for now)

**Summary:** Pepper accompanies Tony everywhere. The weapons demonstration for the military in Afghanistan is no different. An AU to "Iron Man".

**Warning: **none

**Author's Note:** I know this plotline has been done before, but hopefully this comes out as something different. Constructive criticism is as always appreciated! Check out my blog on my writing at

. . .

"_Letting it get to you. You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts." -The Doctor ('The Doctor's Wife')_

. . .

"You look horrible."

Pepper was only partially conscious or at least that's how she felt. She hadn't slept all night. She'd stayed up and kept watch over Tony. He'd tossed and turned and groaned in his sleep and whimpered…and Pepper had been so worried. She wasn't sure if it was from nightmares or just the pain he felt. Yinsen was trying to be careful with rationing the pain medication and Pepper hated it.

"I'm fine," she insisted.

"Did you sleep?"

Pepper just stared at him. He wasn't going to like her response and she wondered how long she could get away with just not replying. The bruises already seemed to be changing colors. How she wished Rhodey would come…

"Pepper?"

"I'm fine," she repeated.

"That doesn't answer my question."

She frowned and started to run her fingers through her hair. "No," she whispered and looked away from him. Pepper braided her hair and tucked it so that the tail of it was under the braid. She reached for the scarf and found Tony's hand on her shoulder. She looked back at him and he was sitting up and looking so very worried at her. "I'm fi—"

"You need to sleep," he told her.

"Later," Pepper put off. She pulled the scarf into place and tied it.

"Pepper, you're not going to be any use to me if you're exhausted," Tony told her.

Pepper ignored him and got up. She pulled at her clothing, trying to straighten it and wiggled her cold toes. "I'm going to go check on Yinsen and get back to taking things apart…"

"Pepper—"

She stopped and turned to him with a sigh. He was standing now, the battery in one hand. "Tony, I appreciate you worrying about me…but you have to understand, I'm the one who usually worries about you."

"I guess that's true…"

Pepper took a few steps closer to him. "I was worried about you… You've been blown up, had surgery in poor conditions, had a crude magnet installed into your chest, and been beaten up… It's not exactly like you just got drunk and passed out in bed with company," she said. "I wanted to make sure that if you stopped breathing, that I could get you help… I didn't want to wake up and find you dead beside me."

And she didn't want to lose him.

She couldn't lose him.

"Pepper."

She put on a smile for him. "Would look bad on my resume if I lost my boss," Pepper teased. He returned the smile, just a bit. Pepper wasn't used to Tony getting so serious and intense. It was new. It scared her.

"I think Obadiah would write you a letter of recommendation," Tony said, obviously playing along.

"It's not the same if it doesn't come from you," Pepper told him as she looked straight at him. She smiled and had to admit, it was nice having this banter that was normally so standard between them.

His hand was on her cheek before she could even think. His thumb moved slowly back and forth over her cheek. "I'm going to be okay…"

"Tony—"

"You can worry all you like, Ms. Potts," he said with a smile. "I'm going to be okay. I promise."

"I told you, don't make me promises—"

"I can keep this one," Tony assured.

Pepper wasn't sure what he was talking about. Did he just mean that he was going to keep him mouth shut and just do what they wanted while still trying to figure out a way for them to escape? After Yinsen had talked about the Hindu Kush, she wasn't feeling very hopeful. She felt like the military or The Ten Rings actually honoring their promise was the only way they were going to get out.

"Are you sure?" she asked curious.

"I am," Tony said and she could hear the confidence in his voice.

"Does this have to do with what you're working on?"

Tony nodded.

"We_ have_ to trust Yinsen, you know," she said quietly. She didn't want Yinsen to overhear and be hurt or think that they honestly couldn't trust him. They had to, it was true. But Pepper trusted him. He'd done what he could to keep them safe and she was sure that his conversations with Raza the night before had been because Raza was mainly the one not wanting to say things in front of Tony. After all, he wanted him to cooperate.

"I know," Tony whispered back. "Just…let me finish this project…and then we'll have a group meeting or something…"

Pepper just smiled. She knew that his version of a 'group' meeting was him talking to her about stuff. He really didn't do group meetings or really anything that might give someone else the possibility of input on what he had planned.

"So…breakfast…" he said.

"I'm pretty sure you're going to be disappointed," she told him as they both started to head for the area Yinsen was likely in.

"Oh, I'm absolutely sure I will be disappointed."

Pepper smiled and shook her head. Right now, it didn't matter that she was sleep deprived. Seeing him like this, though she did notice him cringe here and there, it made her feel better. She'd also noticed that it had taken him a few minutes of moving around to see to really 'warm up' his limbs. She just hoped that he wasn't in too much pain and that the bruising would go down.

"JARVIS!" Tony shouted.

Pepper just shook her head again. Poor Yinsen was going to think that Tony was losing it, but she knew that he was just homesick.

"Who is JARVIS?" Yinsen asked as he popped his head around from the Stark Industries weapon he was working on.

"He's like Jiminy Cricket…except…invisible," Tony lied.

"You are an odd man, Stark."

"Oh, he knows," Pepper mumbled as she made her way towards the work area which she'd been working at the night before. Her screwdriver and everything was still there. At least she could feel helpful. That was nice.

. . .

"She's not doing well today," she could hear Yinsen.

Pepper dropped the screwdriver and rubbed her face with the palms of her hands. She was so exhausted and it was hitting her. She knew that Yinsen hadn't meant for her to hear them, but with all the quiet, it was hard not to overhear conversations. She hadn't eaten anything either or had anything to drink, which probably wasn't helping things.

"Just give me a few minutes," she heard Tony say.

Pepper picked up the screwdriver again and tried to go on with her assignment. His hand was on her shoulder and she suddenly felt useless. She looked up at him and he was smiling at her. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know you needed this—"

"Don't worry about it," Tony told her. He took the screwdriver from her hand and set it on the table. He put his arms around her and guided her out of the 'work area'. "You're going to take a nap."

"Tony, no…" she started to argue.

"And you're going to eat something," he added. He gave him a nudge in the direction of where their 'beds' were and turned to the 'cooking area'. Pepper looked over her shoulder and frowned slightly. By the time she made it to where they had been sleeping, Tony was right behind her.

"I don't need it," she told him.

"We're not rationing," Tony told her. "You're going to eat and drink, Potts…"

"Tony—"

"JARVIS! When's the last time Ms. Potts had anything to eat or drink?" he asked and looked upward as if he were waiting for a response. He paused and then pretended to have a British accent, which came out nowhere near how JARVIS sounded. "Ms. Potts has not ingested anything in the last eighteen hours, Sir. She requires nourishment, fluids, and sleep."

Pepper couldn't help but smile at his attempt. She tried to hide it though.

Tony looked back at her. "See… JARVIS agrees with me…and he normally sides with you."

She rolled her eyes as she sat down on her mattress.

He sat on his own and held out the make shift bowl of soup to her. "Time to eat."

"Where's yours?"

"Didn't you see me devouring it after we talked to Yinsen?" he asked. "Yinsen was guarding his… I think he thought I was going to eat his too!"

She made a face as she smelled it. She knew what it smelled like. It was what they'd had the night before. It smelled foul and didn't taste much better. It was food, though. Yinsen had impressed upon them that several times.

"Remember," Tony said as he moved the soup bowl down. He set down her cup of water next to him and took the soup bowl away from her. He scooped up a bite and held out the spoon for her. "Don't smell…don't taste…just swallow…"

"You're not feeding me," Pepper argued and then finally gave in for fear that he was going to drop it all over their mattresses and it was not a smell that needed to be added to the already less than desirable sleeping area.

"Let me take care of you…for five minutes, Potts. Let me do something for you," he told her.

The way he said it… The way he spoke to her. He was calm, collected, sincere, and almost soft. So, she didn't argue. But it was weird. He didn't take care of people…he didn't even take care of himself. She didn't understand how he thought that he was capable of taking care of her.

"What about your project?" she asked.

"Almost complete," Tony told her. "You can be amazed by how clever I am after your nap."

She just smiled and then found that the cup of water was being shoved into her hands. Pepper didn't know what to do with him. One day she wanted to smack him and the next she was freaking out because he was trying to take care of her.

"Drink," he told her.

"I got to thinking about how much bacteria and—"

"Don't think," Tony reminded and lifted the cup while it was still in her hands.

She decided to try to do what he said and drank it. She knew that Yinsen boiled it, but it still seemed unclean. Of course, they were used to drinking bottled water… She tried to remind herself that she needed to stay hydrated and that she wasn't going to die from this…and then her mind started to think of ways that the water could kill her. God, she really needed sleep.

"You're thinking, aren't you?" he asked.

"I can't help it," Pepper told him. "My brain keeps spinning with possibilities and answers." She handed him the empty cup.

She watched as he discarded it to the side with the bowl and spoon. He moved onto her mattress and she moved slightly as she just gave him a confused look. He sat on the very edge of the mattress and she didn't know what he was doing and was a little worried to ask.

"Come sleep," he told her.

"Tony—"

"I promise I'm not going to do anything," he told her. "Plus Yinsen's like right there," he said as he motioned off to the side.

"Happy's told me stories," Pepper told him.

"I doubt they're completely accurate," Tony told her. He paused when she looked even more concerned. And she was. "I just want you to relax enough to sleep… I'll get your brain to shut down for a bit…"

Pepper still wasn't sure but turned around in the mattress in order to get comfortable. She was pulled to him and she gasped in surprise. He mumbled an apology, but it was just weird. She and Tony weren't like this…they'd never been touchy feely in any way. She was cradled in his arms as he half sat up. He removed the scarf and she was going to argue, but then decided against it. It wasn't like he was going to listen and it obviously bothered him…and in all honesty, she'd appreciate not feeling so confined. The scarf was removed and like the night before, he ran his fingers through it. She still felt so dirty, but she tried not to think about it.

"Close your eyes, Pep," he whispered.

And she did, but her mind continued to reel. He swayed slightly with her in his arms. How safe she felt…and she suddenly hated herself for thinking that. Why did she feel so safe in his arms? Was it because he was a man? Was it because he was Tony Stark? And she finally figure it out, it was because even though he drove her crazy and could be reckless…

She trusted him.

His hand ran through her hair and she found it oddly soothing. She pushed away everything and just focused on his touch. It calmed her and focused her and relaxed her… And Pepper hated herself for it.

"I'm here," she remembered hearing him whisper. "You're safe…" And she knew she was. And finally, she drifted completely into the darkness and let sleep overtake her.

. . .

The first thing that woke her was pain followed quickly by Tony's voice. "Pepper!" she heard him screaming. Her eyes opened and she was being dragged out by rough hands. There was yelling in a language she didn't understand and fear raced through her. The last glimpse she had before she was through the door was Tony being held back and something glowing under his shirt. He looked pained and worried.

Why were they taking her? What had happened?

Pepper then realized that the scarf she'd been wearing wasn't in place. Tony had removed it when he'd rocked her to sleep. She kept her eyes downward and tried to stay calm. Maybe they were just going to throw her back into the room where they'd held her and Yinsen before. Or at least she hoped that was what was going to happen.

She was shoved around, but she tried not to make a sound or react in any way. Pepper kept praying that they were just going to keep her separate for a bit. Maybe they thought she was a distraction or something… It was another moment before she heard a door opening and she was forced into a chair and tied to it. Pepper wanted to look around so desperately, but kept her head down.

"Mr. Stark does not seem like cooperating…which means I'm going to have to use you as an example," the voice spoke up and Pepper recognized it as Raza.

Pepper felt like her heart had slowed and she felt sick, but she still dared not look up. His hand was on her, running through her hair at the back of her head. She cringed and tried to keep still.

"No one is coming for you," he told her. "Not the military. And your release is completely up to me." Raza continued to run his hand through her hair and then reached the base of her neck and ran his hand along her shoulder. "I could contact Mr. Stark's company…see if they'd pay for your release… Though, I am certain that they would be more interested in Mr. Stark's release rather than yours…"

Pepper bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut. She was terrified. The zip ties that she was fairly sure she'd been tied to the chair with, she'd heard the familiar sound when they'd secured her, were biting into the delicate skin of her wrists and ankles. She tried to think of something else and then could only think of Tony and his bruised face…how they'd beaten him…

"I'm sure Yinsen instructed you of our ways," Raza continued. "I noticed that you'd been respecting our custom of covering yourself…and not speaking… That is noble of you to respect our customs even though they are not your own…and smart…for your own safety." Raza moved around her, she could hear him. He placed a finger under her chin and lifted it. "Open your eyes."

Pepper complied and just hoped that she wouldn't be punished for doing as he asked. As she opened her eyes and stared up into his dark dead eyes, she wondered if this was going to be it. He had said that he was going to use her…as an example… Was he just going to beat her or would he kill her?

"You may answer," Raza told her. He brushed hair away from her face. "Would Stark Industries pay for your return?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. It was one thing if they intended on returning her with Tony, it was another if they just wanted money for her. She was _only _Tony's assistant. She wasn't the owner and the namesake of the company.

"You fear for your life?"

"Yes," she whispered as she continued to stare up at him.

"You are smart to," Raza told her. He let her chin drop from his hold and turned away from her. "I only normally make it a habit to punish women who have done something wrong… Women who do not cooperate with my men or my wishes… Women who run away from their husbands… Women who do not know their place or who do not know their jobs in the home. So far, you have behaved and been respectful."

She knew what was coming… There was a 'but' coming. He was still going to make an example out of her and it was going to hurt. It was going to hurt a lot. He might even kill her. Pepper wasn't sure what would hurt less… These men seemed to like their violence.

"But Mr. Stark…he will cooperate if I show him how serious I am," Raza told her.

"You'll anger him," Pepper said and wondered if she was still allowed to talk. It was too late, though. She'd already opened her mouth. "It won't motivate him like you think it will."

Raza turned back to her and shook a finger at her. "You do not understand men as well as I think you think you do…"

"I've worked with Mr. Stark for several years," Pepper told him.

He closed the distance between them again and ran a hand along her face. "Because you have not been disobedient, I will reward you even though I must punish you."

That hardly sounded promising. Pepper knew that no matter how he made it sound like she was going to get out of it that he wasn't going to change his mind. They were going to hurt her…and probably hurt her in ways that she didn't think was possible.

"I will instruct my men that your face is not to be harmed," Raza told her. "It would be tragic to inflict such a punishment when you are not the cause of the problems…"

Raza said something in his native tongue and Pepper heard the door open and footfalls. Several men seemed to have entered and she noticed that they were all carrying a type of block…like a brick or some sort of stone. Her heart sped up and she was even more terrified than she was before. Were they going to injure her or kill her? She didn't know now…

"Please," she started to plead as she stared at Raza. "Please… I can talk to Mr. Stark… I can talk to Mr. Stane at Stark Industries about a random if that's what you want… Just please…"

He didn't seem to care or be impressed by her pleas. He said something and they started to close the distance between them. Pepper closed her eyes and tried to think of being somewhere else. She remembered reading somewhere about how people who were beaten or raped or felt like they were going to be killed…that it gave them some comfort to pretend to be somewhere else…somewhere safe…

All she could think of was the Malibu Mansion. All she could think of was Tony in the workshop. All she could think of was Happy driving them around as he and Tony chatted while she did work. All she could think about was even though he caused her so much frustration…of how much she cared about Tony.

Tony…

And it was then that she realized that she was screaming…

The pain seemed to emanate from all over, except her face. Her throat felt barren from the screams and she wished for them to stop. For them to stop hurting her. For them to just kill her and get it over with…

And at one point, she screamed his name.

"Tony!"

It hadn't been conscious and she barely realized that his name had left her lips before she'd passed out. The pain didn't ebb away though. Not even the ugly darkness of unconsciousness could banish it.

. . .

TBC…


	4. Nightlight

**Title:** All That Counts

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** Iron Man and Avengers do not belong to me, but Marvel Entertainment and Disney. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG-13 (for now)

**Summary:** Pepper accompanies Tony everywhere. The weapons demonstration for the military in Afghanistan is no different. An AU to "Iron Man".

**Warning: **none

**Author's Note:** I know this plotline has been done before, but hopefully this comes out as something different. Constructive criticism is as always appreciated! Check out my blog on my writing at

. . .

"_Letting it get to you. You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts." -The Doctor ('The Doctor's Wife')_

. . .

Pepper felt as though she could feel every nerve ending in her body on fire all at once. She bit back a sob. She didn't know where she was and she was too terrified to open her eyes. All she knew was that she was fairly sure that she was still tied to the chair, though she was certain that she was on the earthen floor. So, at one point they had to have knocked over the chair while they were beating her.

So, she just lay there.

Helpless.

Alone.

Hurt.

Terrified.

"Shhh…"

Pepper wasn't aware that she'd let out a cry or any noise, but perhaps she had. She tried to feign unconsciousness, but whoever was there didn't leave. Instead, he reached down and pulled the chair, and her with it, back into its upright position. She still didn't open her eyes or move. She tried to remain limp because she really didn't feel like she had the strength to do much more than allow the chair and the zip ties to hold her in place. Her head was at her chest and she felt almost as if she'd tip the chair forward.

"I promised that I wouldn't let them touch your beautiful face," Raza's voice came as he gently tilted her head back and caressed her cheek.

Her stomach churned and the sickness she felt was rivaling the pain she felt. She wanted to plead…but she knew it wouldn't do any good. Raza wanted to use her as some kind of twisted example. He didn't know Tony like she knew him. This was only going to anger him and motivate him for revenge…not to do what Raza wanted…

"Such a pretty thing," Raza practically cooed. He traced her lines and Pepper tried to keep her pain silent. "I'm sorry that they had to hurt you…" he whispered as he continued to run his hands over her. His hands were running from her shoulder, downward…

Pepper cringed as his hands passed over her breasts. She was fairly sure that the Kevlar vest that was still in place, though it may have absorbed some of the hits, it seemed to feel like she was more bruised under it than any other place. She could feel his hand and couldn't keep the whimper at bay any longer. It escaped from her lips and she stirred a bit, pretending as though he'd woken her.

"I no longer have a wife…perhaps I should keep you once we are done with Mr. Stark…" Raza told her as his hand continued to linger down her stomach. "I would treat you well…"

Once his hand hit her belly button, she dared to look up at him. "Please…don't hurt me…"

"Shh… You will not be touched any more…not unless Mr. Stark disobeys me again…" Raza leaned in and kissed her cheek. He ran his hand along her other cheek and Pepper couldn't stop the shudder through her body. He just smiled at her. He straightened and then started to bark in his language before disappearing from her view.

Pepper squeezed her eyes shut, turned her head, and bit her lip. She had felt dirty before… Now she felt absolutely filthy. She didn't want to be touched…at all… She wanted to be left alone… That didn't happen. Men came in, she didn't know what they used but she could feel the metal against her skin as they worked on cutting away the zip ties. She listened as they talked to one another. They sounded angry and harsh and loud. A hand ran up her thigh and she couldn't stop the scream. Though she was shocked, it was from the pain.

Raza's shouting came echoing and she heard him entering the room. She heard someone being hit and she wondered if it was the man who touched her. She didn't open her eyes to find out. She just stayed still as Raza continued to bark at the men.

The last bound was removed and she was guided to stand. She complied, though almost fell over. Pepper whimpered and felt like sobbing right there and then. She didn't want to have to depend on any of them. Hands were on her again, but this time, they were scooping her up.

"Shh…" Raza whispered.

His voice was so close to her now. She was certain that he was the one who was now carrying her. She kept her eyes shut, though and bit her lip again to try to stay quiet. He carried her and she could hear the footfalls of others around him. Not doubt he was under the protection of a group of guards. The heavy metal of the door creaked as it was opened and she instantly heard Tony screaming and Yinsen trying to control him.

There was no use.

There were very few people in that world who could control Tony Stark.

It took years of practice and immense patience.

She was finally laid down on a cot, which she assumed was Yinsen's because Raza didn't bend all the way down to the floor to set her down and he didn't move far enough into the cave to return her to where she slept. His hand ran along her face another time before he was gone. Pepper didn't make a sound and didn't move. She just waited. Every time Tony made any kind of a sound, she cringed.

"You must calm down!" Yinsen yelled at him.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Tony spat back.

Pepper's head pounded even more. "Please…don't yell," she managed to get out before breaking out into tears and sobs. Her whole body racked with even more pain. She rolled to her side and found herself being caught from falling off of the cot. She whimpered at the touch, but was thankful that she didn't hit the floor.

"Pep," his voice whispered. She could hear the fear and worry in his voice…the pain and grief…

"I'm okay," she whispered.

"Don't say that," Tony told her.

"I'm going to remove some of your clothing, Ms. Potts, so that I can get a better look at your injuries," Yinsen told her politely.

"I'd rather you not," she whispered. She slowly opened her eyes and could see that Tony's dark irises were encased in red instead of white. He looked horrible. Plus, the bruising on his face had changed to a different shade. She wasn't sure if it looked worse or better… Maybe it was the lighting…

"Can you at least tell me what they did to you?"

Pepper swallowed and realized that her throat was still dry. "Water," she whispered. She was gently rolled onto her side and was able to sip the water that way. It helped, but her throat felt like she'd stripped it from screaming. "It doesn't matter…"

"Pepper," Tony said quite firmly. "Please…let Yinsen help."

"They didn't rape me and they didn't kill me, Tony… What can he do?" she asked. Pepper closed her eyes and tried to think of something else. She wanted the pain to go away, but didn't want to ask for the pain medication that she knew they had. She didn't know how many they had left, but she knew that Tony had to be in immense pain with the electro-magnet in his chest.

"Maybe we can make you more comfortable," Tony suggested.

"Take me home," she joked.

"Working on it." And she could hear that he was serious.

"This isn't my bed."

"No, but I would rather not move you," Yinsen told her.

"I don't want to sleep here," she whispered. "I want to go back to—" And before she could finish, arms were trying to be gentle as they lifted her off of the cot. And she knew it was Tony even before Yinsen started to argue.

"Stark! I just said that she shouldn't be moved!" Yinsen ranted. "You could further injure her! She could have internal injury!"

Pepper curled into his hold. She wanted to just stay there. She was carefully laid down onto the mattress and she could hear them still arguing. She didn't listen to the specifics, but knew that it was about her. Yinsen wasn't happy. But right now, she felt a bit safer being so far back in the cave.

"Tell me what I can do," Tony whispered. He was close, but he didn't touch her. Pepper was sure that he was afraid that he'd hurt her.

"Did Yinsen go?" she asked in a hoarse whisper.

"Yeah."

Pepper thought about what she was about to ask and in so many ways she was sure it was a bad idea. "I want the vest taken off," she whispered. Her eyes fluttered open and she could see that he was still concerned. Her request probably wasn't helping and it wouldn't. She'd be exposing herself to him…and it wasn't that he'd see her in her bra that worried her, but that he'd see what they'd done to her. But the vest was an extra weight she didn't want.

"Pepper—"

"Please…"

"Can you sit up?" he asked.

"Maybe," she told him and it was honest. She didn't know, but figured that she could lean against him or the wall. Tony was likely the softer option out of the two.

He moved her slowly and carefully. He brought her up into a sitting position and let her lean against him. He removed her blazer at first and she could hear him audibly gasp when her skin was revealed. "Pep—"

"Shh…" she whispered and tried to move her arm in order to help him completely remove her blazer. She whimpered, but kept going. The other arm was easier to remove. He reached out and started to unbutton her blouse. She could feel him hesitating at the third button. "It's okay," she told him. She was sure that normally if he was unclothing any other woman in any other situation that he wouldn't have hesitating or even thought about hesitating.

Eventually, he finished unbuttoning her blouse and removed it with care. She knew that the Kevlar vest was going to be more rigid and was going to hurt far more to remove. And it was… She watched as tears fell from his eyes as he looked at her once the vest was removed. "Tell me," he insisted.

"Tomorrow," she whispered. She was tired and she hurt…

He redressed her in the blouse and blazer and she tried to keep quiet, for his sake more than hers. He laid her down and pulled the blanket over her. She thought that he was going to leave her there to sleep, but he moved the blanket back at her feet and she could hear him shuffling. Something was carefully pulled onto both of her feet. Socks. Tony had given her his socks… Tears formed in her eyes. She wanted to thank him, but at the same time she wanted to tell him that he needed them… She couldn't form words. She'd been without footwear or socks since they'd been taken. It was a nice change to have them warmed up a bit.

"I'll be right back," he whispered.

Pepper took the opportunity to roll onto her side while he was gone, so that he didn't have to hear the whimpers or quiet cries that escaped her as she did so. She hurt now so badly that she wasn't sure if she was going to be able to sleep. She didn't think she could handle being awake all night with Tony there, beating himself up silently all the while. It was hard enough looking at him now.

"I need to sit you up for a minute," he told her.

"No," she whispered. She didn't want to move.

"I'm sorry," he told her and she was hauled up into a sitting position without a choice. Pepper's eyes filled with tears and she screamed in pain. Although he'd tried to be gentle, she just couldn't take the touch anymore. "I'm sorry," he practically cried. She could see it in his eyes; seeing her like this…it tortured him…it hurt him more possibly than she hurt at this moment. "I need you to take these," he said as he held up two pills.

"You need them," she whispered.

"Not as much as you do," he countered.

"Tony—"

"Potts, don't argue," he told her and held up the pills to her mouth. She didn't. She took them and then was thankful when he offered her water to chase them down. She swallowed them and then took another sip. She watched as he set the cup to the side of them. "I'm sorry," he whispered again.

She was in his arms, cradled, and though it hurt…it was more comforting than painful. And she realized…she fairly sure that this was the first time since working for Tony Stark that she'd heard him apologize…and apologize sincerely. Maybe Raza was right… Maybe he knew Tony better than she did. He was rocking her again, like before, and she was grateful for it. It was soothing. She opened her eyes and strained to look up at him. Her hand reached out and touched his chest where a comforting blue light shone. She vaguely remembered the light when they were tearing her from the cell before.

"Adding in a built-in nightlight is not going to keep you safe," she told him with a deep frown. She tapped it.

"It's more than just a nightlight," he told her and she could see a small smile forming. "It's replacing what Yinsen originally put in me… No car battery needed," he said and lifted his shirt to prove that there were no wires connected to him. Pepper just stared at it and then reached out to touch it. To touch the design that she was sure was purely functional and had nothing to do with aesthetics, but it was beautiful just the same.

"Are you sure?"

"You know the arc reactor? At home. At Stark Industries?"

"Obadiah calls it the science fair project that pleases the media and hippies," Pepper told him with a small smile. All she knew was that the arc reactor at Stark Industries frustrated Obadiah Stane immensely…mainly because he couldn't use it for any other application than what it was being currently used for. It powered Stark Industries.

"I miniaturized it…" Tony told her.

"In a cave in Afghanistan?" Pepper asked him. She was surely hallucinating.

"I told you I was being clever."

Pepper just smiled up at him. She pulled his shirt back down, but rested a hand over where the arc reactor was in his chest. She rested her head against his shoulder and let out a groan as her body got used to the position she'd shifted into. "You're a good pillow…"

"Good," he told her. "I'm a pillow and a nightlight…" She could hear that he was teasing and normally she'd continue with their banter, but she was too tired. She continued to allow Tony to hold her and she eventually drifted off.

. . .

Morning came too quickly.

They hadn't meant to wake her, she was sure. It was the pain that forced her to face reality and the morning. The pain, she'd tried to hide…but she was fairly sure she'd cried or whimpered or made some kind of sound in her sleep. She vaguely remembered Tony saying something and possibly Yinsen hovering. She really wasn't sure if it had been real or if she'd imagined it all.

Pepper opened her eyes and found herself on her side where she remembered falling asleep. That was something. She just lay there for a bit as she tried to assess what she could move and how much it hurt her to do so. She wondered if she moved more if it would loosen or become less painful… She was starting to think that it wasn't.

He must have seen her before she saw him because she heard his voice first. "Hey…" His voice was gentle and full of concern and Pepper really didn't want him to see her like this. She knew that he'd seen her in a far worse state the night before when she asked him to remove her vest, which entailed removing almost all other articles of clothing in the process.

"Hi," she whispered back and forced a smile through.

He sat down and then lay down next to her, so that they were facing each other. "We were trying to be quiet."

"I know…"

"How bad is the pain?" he asked.

Pepper wondered if he could tell that she was so obviously in pain or if it was just a guess since he'd been beaten pretty bad before as well. She wondered if they'd beaten him with bricks and stones as well or if it had just been their fists and feet… She was afraid to ask though. Yinsen hadn't thought that it was too severe and Tony seemed to have bounced back fairly well.

"I'm fine," she lied and she could tell immediately he didn't appreciate her response. "You need the med—"

"I saw last night," he told her and he seemed to be so pained. "I know you're in pain… There's no way you couldn't be…" He reached out and lightly touched her face and she wondered if he was afraid to touch her. He moved her hand to his chest and let it rest there. "Arc reactor… It's helped a lot," he told her. "I probably could just use some Tylenol… It's really nothing compared to before… And the bruises don't hurt so much…just tender."

She remembered suddenly. She remembered that it was like a night light. It was as if she were remembering when they'd laid there the night before. It was fuzzy. It wasn't clear. "You kept your promise…"

"You told me not to make promises that I couldn't keep," he told her. He tapped on the arc reactor. "This is keeping me alive now…and though Yinsen's electro-magnet was genius…this is better…safer…"

He was looking at her and she felt like he was looking right through her. It scared her. "We all need to help… The pills will make me tired," she told him, trying to be reasonable.

"Can you even sit up?" he asked. "Last night you couldn't… You almost hit your head on the wall."

"I don't remember that."

"I'm not surprised."

Pepper just stared at him. "I remembered that you rocked me to sleep…"

"I did," he whispered. "And I sat with you for some time…"

"Was I loud?" she asked. Pepper wasn't sure how much noise she'd made… She obviously didn't remember everything, which worried her. She liked being in control when she could be.

"No," Tony told her.

"Did you sit up and watch me sleep all night?"

He smiled at her. "I thought about it. I wanted to. But I needed to work on stuff…"

"By stuff, do you mean making it look like you're building Jericho?" she asked.

"Sortive…and other things," Tony told her.

She didn't like the sound of that. It worried her in so many ways. Her thoughts raced and she tried not to think of Raza or his men or being taken away again.

"Hey," Tony said immediately and Pepper realized that she must have shown too much. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lied. She wasn't a good liar. "I just hurt…" Which was true, but not the reason that she'd been upset when he'd told her what he'd been doing.

"Pepper…"

"You have to get out of here," she told him, her words almost turning into cries. And tears filled her eyes.

His hands framed her face and his face moved towards hers. "Hey, hey, hey… We're going to get out… I'm working on it… They're going to think I'm building Jericho… We're all going to get out… I promise you, Pepper. I _promise_."

"Tony—"

"_I promise_."

And she could see something changing in him. It was different, but then there was a determination that she hadn't seen before. There was something so different, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Pepper just couldn't describe it.

"I'm not going to let them take you again," he promised.

Pepper was about to tell him not to make promises he couldn't keep, but she didn't. She almost felt bad. She knew that he was doing what he felt like he needed to do and that he felt awful for what had happened… She was glad that he was doing better though, that he had the arc reactor in his chest instead of being hooked up to a car battery.

"Yinsen wants to look you over…"

Pepper sighed. She knew it was going to come. She just really didn't want to be poked or prodded or really moved… "Okay…"

. . .

"Raza said that you were disobedient," Pepper told Tony. She hated going through everything again, but they wanted to hear it and they weren't taking 'no' for an answer, plus it distracted her from the pain. It hurt to move, but it hurt more to try to keep the strength to sit up and sit up straight. "I told him that hurting me wouldn't motivate you the way he thought it would."

"You talked to him?!" Yinsen exclaimed.

"He told me to speak," she explained. "He told me that he was rewarding me for the scarf and acting correctly by telling them they couldn't touch my face." She could see the anger in Tony's face. "He hasn't been in contact with Obadiah or Stark Industries," she said after a moment. "He asked if he could get a ransom for just me…"

"What did you tell him?" Tony asked.

"That I didn't know," she said.

"I think Obadiah would," Tony told her. He seemed confidant in his response, but Pepper had no idea if that was true or if it would be enough for Raza and The Ten Rings to release her.

"I tried to convince him to let me talk to them, but he'd already made up his mind about the punishment…"

"Can I see your arms?" Yinsen asked as his fingers were already at the fabric of her blazer. She'd spent the time thus far taking more pain pills, eating soup, drinking water, and bearing the pain in order to sit up. Though, she was concerned that Raza would be upset because neither Tony nor Yinsen were working. They were just fussing over her, whether she liked it or not. Pepper finally nodded and helped as much as she could with her arms. She took a moment to glance down at her own flesh and then immediately regretted it. "Did they use their fists?" he asked curiously.

Pepper shook her head and tried not to think of the terrifying memory of when she realized what they were going to do. "They used bricks or stones… I'm not sure…"

Yinsen frowned and she tried not to look at Tony, she was sure that he was fuming. "There's swelling… I cannot tell how much damage there really is with all of the swelling…"

"Apparently I can move, so that means I'm not broken, right?" Pepper asked, trying to sound hopeful. She had moved her arms and her legs…and she was sitting up…so she figured that she couldn't be that broken.

"We must worry about internal injuries…and your ribs," Yinsen told her. "There's also the possibility of fractures…"

"So, she needs a hospital," Tony said.

"You both do," Yinsen told them. He turned to Tony. "You were blown up, you have shrapnel pressing against your heart, I preformed an experimental surgery on you—"

"It worked!"

"That's not the point… You were beaten up… You now have that thing—"

"It's an arc reactor…doubles as a nightlight."

Yinsen didn't look amused. "She's been blown up, though not as badly as you… I removed the shrapnel…at least I think I've removed it all… And she's been beaten with rocks and stones… I've warned you of what else they could do…"

Pepper looked between them and she could tell that Tony was barely holding it together. He was getting to his boiling point and would need to explode and she needed it to not be at Raza or any of his men. They needed to keep under the radar for a bit. "Yinsen, can we have a minute?"

"I want to check your spine later, though."

"Wait…why?" Tony asked quickly. She noticed his expression changed, he'd been fuming a moment ago and was now overly concerned.

"There is swelling," Yinsen explained. "The swelling can mask problems… I need to assess how badly they damaged the spine…"

"I was tied to a chair," Pepper told Yinsen.

"You're still bruised along your back…" He pushed in on an area of skin next to her spine and Pepper whimpered. "I'm sorry," he immediately apologized. "I just want to be prepared if there's damage…catching things early is important."

"What kind of damage?" Tony asked quickly.

"Tony, we can't do anything right now… Can we not focus on the 'what if's?" she asked. She looked back at Yinsen. "Just one minute?"

"And then I want you to rest," Yinsen told her quite sternly.

Pepper nodded. "I will… I promise…"

Yinsen left them and Pepper waited until he was back in the work area. Suddenly she felt bad that she hurt too much not to help. She just hoped that Raza wasn't expecting her to be doing something other than resting and recovering.

"I need you to stay calm, Tony," she told him.

"I wanted to show you what I was working on," he said. And then he frowned. "That's sort of childish, isn't it? I sound like I want to show you my drawings on the fridge…"

"I would probably look at them closer if they were on the fridge," she teased.

"You need a hospital."

"I need you to be alive."

"I am."

"But continue to be alive…"

"All night, we worked on building the shell to a Jericho…or something that's close enough," Tony explained. "It looks like we're building more than one…"

"What if Raza finds out you're not?" Pepper asked, but hadn't meant to ask that question. It was her own fear that was curling up inside of her.

Tony's hand was on her cheek, but only for a moment. He looked down, like he was too embarrassed to look at her. Before she could open her mouth to say anything, he scooped her up and was carefully walking back to where she'd slept. She hadn't wanted to move closer to the stove, but Yinsen had insisted.

"No matter what, Pepper…" he whispered. "I'm going to do everything I can to keep you safe…and to get you home…" Tony lowered himself and her as well down onto the mattress and he was cradling her in his arms again.

"I'm going to get used to this," she teased.

Tony smiled down at her. "Me too."

Pepper couldn't believe that she'd just said that and curled into him and shut her eyes. Her cheeks blushed and she wondered if she could blame it later on the pain pills that Yinsen had insisted that she took. She'd only wanted one, but he'd told her to take two. She didn't know why being in his arms was so comforting, but it was…even though she knew that she shouldn't feel that way. Pepper found herself relaxing even though she worried. She tried to cling to Tony's words and his promises…

Hope…

Tony was promising hope…

It was good enough to fall asleep with in mind.

. . .

TBC…


	5. Almost Home

**Title:** All That Counts

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** Iron Man and Avengers do not belong to me, but Marvel Entertainment and Disney. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG-13 (for now)

**Summary:** Pepper accompanies Tony everywhere. The weapons demonstration for the military in Afghanistan is no different. An AU to "Iron Man".

**Warning: **none

**Author's Note:** I know this plotline has been done before, but hopefully this comes out as something different. Constructive criticism is as always appreciated! Check out my blog on my writing at

. . .

"_Letting it get to you. You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts." -The Doctor ('The Doctor's Wife')_

. . .

Pepper had lay almost entirely in 'bed' for a few days and she still wasn't feeling better. Yinsen had taken special care to look over her spine. It apparently didn't help that he couldn't get the swelling to stay down. She didn't understand any of it… She just felt useless. She could hear Tony and Yinsen working…and she couldn't do any of it.

"How are you holding up?"

She tilted her head as Tony came into view. He was always checking on her. And everyday, she felt like she knew him less. "Bored," she told him lightly. She looked away.

"Hey," he whispered as he crouched down. "What's wrong?"

"I can hardly move my legs and arms… I can barely sit up… I can't walk…" she whispered as tears fell. She couldn't look at him though.

"Yinsen said it's because of the swelling," Tony told her. "I'm getting you out of here and to a hospital…"

"I think you just need to focus on getting yourself out of here, Tony," she whispered. She still couldn't look at him. She didn't know what it was. But in the last couple of days, her hope had faded. She'd finally decided that she wasn't getting out of Afghanistan… There was no way that she could walk out of that cave, let alone even think about braving the Hindu Kush. And though she wasn't exactly sure as to how long they'd been there…she was fairly sure that Rhodey wasn't coming for them…

"Don't say that," Tony told her.

"I'm a liability, Tony… You and Yinsen need to focus on getting out… You can always come back for me." She moved her face to look at him and tried to push a smile forward "I won't go anywhere, I promise…" She was trying to keep it light, but he only seemed more upset.

She watched as his face turned angry for a moment and then it was like something had lit inside of him. "Yinsen said the swelling is the problem, right?" Tony asked.

Pepper just stared at him for a moment. His lack of sleep might have gotten to him. "He said that if the swelling went down then he'd be able to check my spine better and that it would help to assess if there's any damage…and that maybe it wouldn't come back…"

"So, we'll get the swelling down," Tony told her.

He had completely lost it, she decided. "Tony," she said and she couldn't stop the tears that fell. "You can't think about that right now."

"They're going to give me what we need to bring down the swelling," Tony told her. "They want Jericho built… It looks like I'm building them ten right now… They're going to give it to me."

"This isn't like you're arguing with Obadiah, Tony," she whispered through her tears. And the thought that they might just come in and kill her had crossed her mind. She hadn't decided if that was really for the best or worst, though… If she was dead, then they wouldn't have her to bring them down… If Tony came up with a plan, she wasn't holding them back.

"You need ice, it's simple," Tony told her.

"There's no Seven Eleven down the street, Tony," Pepper told him as the tears continued. They didn't cease and she just felt like she was making him crazy. "We're being held by terrorists in a cave that's inside of killer mountains…in a country that we're not citizens in."

"I think Yinsen said that it only killed Hindus," Tony told her. He looked at her seriously. "Are you Hindu?"

"Tony—"

"Good! Settled! Now! I'll go ask the grumpy guards for some ice."

"Tony!"

"Relax," he told her a moment later and she felt like she was going to burst from the pain and from the stress. Her eyes were already there. His face was against hers and she closed her eyes. "I'm realistic… I am… Today, anyways… But I'm going to make this right, Pep."

"Then get out of here," she whispered. "Bring back help… Find Rhodey."

He moved his head and stared at her. "You know what they'll do to you if I just leave you."

"And they could come in here and do it anyways if you don't go," she told him.

"Let me get the ice…try to get the swelling down…and if that doesn't work…then we'll go with your plan," he suggested.

"You're going to do that either way."

She knew him.

He was going to try no matter how badly she wanted him to just leave her…he was going to try to save her like he promised. And she was terrified that he'd kill himself in doing so.

. . .

Pepper was so done being useless. She'd cried far too much out of sheer frustration and hated feeling so weak because of it. She'd heard fighting between Tony and Yinsen and them and the guards…and she was absolutely in the dark about what was going on. She was fairly sure that they were both still there because the hum of the tools had continued and the sound of working with metal.

"Ice!" Tony announced as he appeared. She saw no ice though and just frowned at him. Maybe all the fighting was because Yinsen had realized that he'd lost it. He looked quite happy and Pepper really wasn't sure what to do with that since she felt the complete opposite…and then some. "Time to get that swelling down," Tony told her.

"I see no ice," she pointed out and rubbed at her face. She hoped that it wasn't apparent that she'd been upsetting herself. Part of it was the pain, of course, but she doubted that her depressed state of mind was helping.

"Yinsen's going to bring it over, but we need you to strip out of your blazer and blouse and lie on your stomach so that we can ice your back properly…" He looked excited still and he was crouching down to help her before she could even respond.

"Tony—"

"Please," he whispered and he suddenly looked hurt.

Normally, Tony Stark asking her to remove her clothes would have been followed by a quick remark and possibly a slap. Right now, she just wanted to be left alone…but she couldn't tell him that after he'd seemed so excited a moment before. That was what he needed…what they all really needed. She started to peel the blazer off and cringed as she tried to maneuver more. It wasn't working very well. He was there with gentleness and ease before she could even request it.

The blazer was removed first and he laid it to the side before unbuttoning the blouse. He helped her onto her stomach before removed the blouse and she appreciated it. Tony had already seen her in her bra without her blouse on, but she appreciated him trying to be discreet about it.

"We need to do twenty minutes on and then twenty minutes off and repeat as best as we can," Yinsen announced as he appeared with a piece of cloth and something wrapped in it.

Did they really have ice?

He was careful about laying out the cloth and she noticed that Tony left for a moment, but returned with something as well. And then what felt like blocks of ice were laid across her spine. It was soothing in so many ways and she tried not to tense under the foreign seeming sensations.

"The next batch I'll crush it up and we'll figure out a way to make little bags so it can be spread evenly across your back and hopefully it'll be enough for your legs and arms," Tony said as he crouched down.

"I didn't think they'd get ice," she whispered and felt tears fall from her cheeks. There was hope again. Maybe Tony was right…maybe they'd all be leaving that cave together.

"We made it," Yinsen said very proud, obviously.

"We mixed ammonium nitrate and water equally in a bucket, put a metal bowl on top with water, wait…far too long, may I add…and you've got ice!" Tony explained. "You probably don't care about all that though."

"It's amazing," Pepper told him. "I don't understand how it works, but it's amazing."

"Well, actually…the—"

"Tony," she said and he immediately stopped. She smiled at him and tried to relax.

"We're going to go work for twenty minutes…and then we'll be back… We already have another batch going… So, hopefully we'll be able to get the swelling down quickly."

"I think it'll work," Yinsen added.

They were gone and she finally really felt herself relaxing. She closed her eyes and laid her head on her folded arms. Her body seemed to just slowly almost melt into the ice. Pepper wondered if it was just the ice or if it was the pain pills as well. Yinsen had been all about making sure she got them every five hours and Pepper was positive that they'd requested more from Raza. She wasn't sure if they'd told him that they needed them for her or for Tony. Either way, she was grateful. She felt herself slowly drifting towards sleep…

The loud creak of the door being thrown open made her jump a little and she felt one of the ice blocks falling off and down her side. She was torn between attempting to cover herself or just laying there. Pepper wasn't sure if she could really move at this point.

"Abu, check their work," Raza's voice echoed.

Pepper reached out and grabbed the scarf and tried to at least cover her head, though she didn't think it mattered as much since she felt so exposed. The thin cloth that protected her skin from the harsh cold of the ice covered most of what had been exposed when her blazer and blouse had been removed. Just her bare shoulders and arms were really uncovered.

She heard steps moving towards her and she pretended to be asleep. Her heart started to race and she squeezed her eyes shut. She tried to hold her breath. Pepper hoped that Raza was just checking on her and then would leave quickly.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Tony yelled. She heard him arguing with the guards and then Yinsen trying to control him. Tony seemed to calm down at least.

"There she is," Raza's voice almost cooed. He crouched down next to her and moved the ice back up into place. "I see that they weren't lying about making ice…" He ran his hand up and down her spine making her shiver. His hand touched her scarf covered head and stroked it for a moment. "I hope that Mr. Stark doesn't force my hand further… I didn't mean for you to be so badly injured…not an obedient woman…"

Pepper was focusing on keeping her breathing even and just hoped that he wasn't expecting to move her. She didn't think she could take it, mainly because they would have to drag her and she didn't want to be roughly moved about. But she also didn't want to be further 'punished'. She didn't think her body could take it.

"Soon… Once you are well enough to travel," he whispered into her ear. "You will travel to my home… I have already sent word to my family there. They will train you in the ways of Islam and how to be a good wife…"

His words were more terrifying than when she thought about Tony killing himself in order to save her. She knew how women were treated in that country. Women were thought of much like property and couldn't even be in public without being completely covered and escorted by a male relative… And really, those were the good things. Your family and husband being able to torture, rape, or kill you for nearly any reason was not a life she wanted to live.

"Your name is not a Muslim name, so I have chosen one for you. I am sure you will approve," Raza told her. "It means many things… Flower… Star… Beautiful… I think it is a good choice. You will be called Zahara…and once I kill Stark, I will return to you and make you my wife."

A scream filled her body, but she kept it inside. She forced herself to keep her breathing even and to keep the tears from falling. She wanted to scream to Tony and tell him to run now, but she knew that he'd die before he even reached the door. Pepper just hoped that Tony's plan was a really good plan. A plan that could be launched at any time… Now that she was recovering, it was obvious that Raza had plans for her.

Raza ran a hand along her length again and she shivered once more. She was sure that it brought him great amusement, but it made her sick. She wanted to cry so badly. She wanted to yell. She wanted to be able to move on her own…so that they could go… She wanted to go home.

"I will return, Zahara," Raza told her before getting to his feet. Pepper only knew because she was listening closely and she swore that her hearing had improved since they'd been held in the cave.

Zahara…

The name clung to her and she felt filthy…

Pepper was sure that Raza really only wanted one thing from her and by converting her and making her his wife, it was the most face saving way of keeping her to rape as much as he wanted… And suddenly she found herself torn as to whether she should tell Tony and Yinsen about what Raza had said. She found herself crying softly as tears fell from her face. She buried her face in her arms and just listened. She hoped that he didn't come back.

There was a little more back and forth in the other area and then the door was closed loudly.

"Pepper!" Tony yelled right away and she could hear him running towards her.

"I'm fine," she spoke, but she knew she probably wasn't loud enough.

"Pepper!"

He was down on the floor with her before she could repeat herself. "I'm fine," she whispered.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked.

"I pretended to be asleep," she whispered. She still didn't look up. She was waiting for her tears to dry and for her face to return to its normal coloring.

"He was over here for a while…" Tony told her. "I was worried…"

She heard shuffling and knew that Yinsen must be nearby. "Can the ice come off now?" she asked. Pepper just wanted to curl up, though she knew it would hurt her, and just cry. It all seemed so unbearable.

"I'll get it," Yinsen said and quickly started to remove the ice, but it took several trips.

Pepper just laid still and hoped that Tony wouldn't press her once Yinsen had removed everything and she could move. She really just wanted to be held and for Tony to tell her that things were going to be okay even though there were no promises. She was okay with the lies…at least for right this moment.

"Just let me look at your spine and then I will leave you two. I'm going to put together a fresh batch of stew," Yinsen said and his fingers were on her back. "It looks a little better…" His voice sounded hopeful. "You're both going to eat once I finish the stew," Yinsen said, it was a command more than a suggestion.

Tony waited, she watched as he watched Yinsen before he carefully rolled her into his arms, cradling her. "Tell me," he whispered and in another minute he'd removed the scarf. She was sure that he'd noticed it when he'd first set eyes upon her and perhaps that was what had worried him so much.

"We have to get out of here," she found herself whispering. "He's going to kill you."

Tony nodded and then kissed her forehead. "Not surprised. They get me to build Jericho missiles and then kill me… They probably figure that Yinsen can draw up plans and they can build them with any labor force they happen to enslave."

"Tell me your plans," she whispered. She desperately needed hope, even if it was a lie…or something that was impossible. Even if it was just a flicker… She needed that right now. Needed to think that things were going to be okay.

"It's a suit," he whispered. His eyes were on her and he was stroking her hair. He was rocking her gently and she could see the immense worry etched across his features. He seemed to have grown older…or maybe it was just that he'd seemed to have grown up during their captivity. Maybe that's what had thrown her… Tony Stark was finally growing up… "An armor suit… It should be bullet proof with the materials I'm using… I'm attaching the weapons now… The hard part is going to be you and Yinsen. If I pilot the suit, then you two will need to stay back here until I clear out the whole cave."

"And what about outside of the cave?" she whispered.

"Yinsen said that they have a weapons cache… I'm going to blow it…and every other terrorist out there to hell…" Tony told her. It seemed like a good plan. We'll find some place safe for a day or so and then work our way towards civilization."

"Do we know what way that is?"

Tony shrugged. "Yinsen sounds confident about it… I guess I should give him this one… He's the closest thing to a local guide we have."

"And we can leave soon?" she asked. She felt more tears falling from her eyes.

"As soon as you're strong enough," Tony told her.

"It has to be soon," she whispered and then buried her face into his chest. Pepper needed him to know that they couldn't just wait. It didn't matter if she still hurt. They needed to go soon. She really didn't want to explain everything that Raza seemed to have planned because she was afraid that it would blur his vision, but she had a feeling that he would insist just the same.

She knew him.

She knew how he'd react.

She knew that he'd try with all he was to keep his promise.

"Tell me what Raza said," Tony said softly.

"He gave me a name," she whispered, but kept her face against his chest.

"You have a name. Pepper. You have another name, but Pepper's better…"

She smiled into his chest and then shook her head. "A Muslim name," she told him and then looked up at him, the smile now gone. "He means to make me his wife… He told me that my name is Zahara…"

"He can't have you," Tony said quickly.

"He says as soon as I'm well enough to travel that he's going to have me taken to live with his family… That they'll teach me… That he'll kill you and then take me as his wife," Pepper told him. In a way, at least she felt like that meant that he wasn't going to rape her…not unless it got so far as he'd killed Tony and returned home.

"That's not going to happen."

"I don't know how long he'll wait."

"You've barely started the icing for the swelling," Tony told her. "It's going to be days at least."

"It needs to be soon," she whispered. Pepper ducked her head against his chest again and closed her eyes. This felt so right. It felt like home. His arms wrapped around her and he placed a kiss in her hair.

"Don't worry, Pep," he told her. "He's not going to take you away…"

. . .

"That's amazing, Tony," she whispered as he acted as a crutch.

She didn't know what it was. If it was just the sheer motivation of leaving that cave and touching US soil again…or if it was the fear of what would happen if they didn't leave soon… But, she'd pushed herself back to walking, though her body wasn't fully cooperative. Yinsen only wanted her up for a certain amount of time so that she didn't exhaust herself.

He beamed at her and then separated the papers that contained the drawing of the armor that he and Yinsen had been working on while still pretending to make Jericho missiles. He'd purposely only drawn bits and pieces on each sheet and only when all of the sheets were laid on top of each other and pressed down did the whole picture show itself. Tony really was a genius…

"It's going to work," he told her.

Pepper almost wished she knew how much time had passed… Had passed since she'd been able to finally walk…and how long it had been since they'd been held… It felt like years… She knew in reality that it really wasn't that long. She pushed that thought away and tried to focus on the fact that they'd be leaving soon enough.

The end was in sight!

Tony put his arm around her and for a moment, she started to lean into him. When the sound of guards coming filled the chamber, she pushed herself away. She turned and started to make a beeline for where she was supposed to stay when Raza or Abu or any of the men came in. She didn't make it, though…and she wasn't covered. Pepper was in her slacks and blouse. No blazer or scarf.

When the door was opened, Tony positioned himself in front of her and she held onto a nearby table for support. She looked downwards and tried to remember her that she just needed to be invisible. That was it. Don't look at them. Don't react. Don't make a sound. Don't speak. She just hoped that it would be enough.

"I hope we are close, Mr. Stark. I have been quite patient," Raza said.

Pepper felt her heart racing faster. She had hoped that it would just be Abu. Abu tended to have a sense of humor and wasn't quite as intimidating or frightening as Raza was. Though, she was sure that Raza knew that Abu let things slide…and Raza was not one to do that. She tried to stay still, but ended up having to shift her weight.

"I see that your ice worked well," Raza said.

She froze and bit her lip to remain quiet. She screwed her eyes shut and focused on breathing. Pepper just hoped that Raza kept his distance. She didn't want Tony to do something stupid. She knew that Tony would do something stupid if Raza pressed boundaries.

"She is not quite there," Yinsen spoke up. "She should actually be resting now… She was about to lie down when you entered."

"I don't want to interfere in her recovery," Raza said.

"I'll take her back," Tony volunteered.

She could hear movement and she held her breath. "Let me, Mr. Stark…"

Breathe, Tony…

Don't react.

"I can manage," she whispered and moved on her own. She kept her gaze down and moved slowly, making sure she had a steady hold as she made her way towards the back of their area. She knew there were going to be gaps in holds, but she'd make due. If she fell in a heap, she'd just stay quiet…

Be smart, Tony.

"Jericho should be done tomorrow," Tony spoke up.

"No," Yinsen argued. "We need longer… To be sure things are working accurately…"

"I'll expect them done tomorrow," Raza said.

Pepper was sure that Tony was moving up the completion date because of what had just happened. She didn't think she could do it. She didn't think she could walk to a city. She could barely stand with assistance for more than ten or fifteen minutes. She stopped her attempt at moving when she heard the door slam. She breathed a breath of relief, but at the same time she was panicking.

She turned her head to find Tony there. "I can't… I won't make it," she told him.

"We'll make it work," Tony told her. "Even if I have to leave you somewhere safe, tucked away in one of these death mountains until I can bring help… The armor has propulsion. In theory, it should fly…at least a short distance."

"In theory," Pepper repeated.

"Not long to find out," he said and scooped her up in his arms. She just glared at him in return. He knew that she was trying to get her mobility back, but at the same time she was thankful. She felt like she was going to fall over any minute before he'd scooped her up into his arms.

"Promise me something, Tony," she said softly as he carried her back to 'bed'. He gently laid her down and sat down next to her.

"Only if it's something I want to promise."

"Promise this for me," she begged.

Tony tilted his head and just stared at her. "What is it that you want me to promise?"

"That if you have to leave me to get help that you'll do it," Pepper told him. She knew that he said he would, but she wasn't sure that she believed him. "No matter what the circumstances…"

He stared at her for a long time. He kissed her forehead and then leaned his forehead against her temple and closed his eyes. "I promise," he whispered. His voice was so sad and it almost made her heart break just from the sound of it.

"We're almost home."

. . .

TBC…


	6. Not Quite as it Seems

**Title:** All That Counts

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** Iron Man and Avengers do not belong to me, but Marvel Entertainment and Disney. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** MA

**Summary:** Pepper accompanies Tony everywhere. The weapons demonstration for the military in Afghanistan is no different. An AU to "Iron Man".

**Warning: **none

**Author's Note:** The rating has been upgraded from PG13 to MA. Just a note. I've gotten a couple of concerns that I may be bashing Muslims. Some have been signed in as 'guest', so I couldn't actually PM them and explain. I like to explain, those of you who sign in and review, know that I always reply and sometimes we have a long conversation! Which I love! Anyways… This isn't about bashing. Not at all. What I do with stories that have elements that I have no experience with or not enough information about. So, in this case, it's the following: Afghanistan, Kunar Province, How Women are Treated in Afghanistan, I also reference the year, and I've looked up some items related to Islam/Muslims (names & meanings, hijab vs. burqa). I have friends who are Muslims, but they live in the US and have no experience with that part of the world. I really do try to have my stories be as accurate as possible… So, sometimes my research takes just as much time (sometimes longer) to write a chapter. If you have any concerns, please feel free to PM me! I do respond!

. . .

"_Letting it get to you. You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts." -The Doctor ('The Doctor's Wife')_

. . .

At some point, they'd fallen asleep. She wasn't sure if he'd gone to work on Jericho at some point and come back or what had happened… All she knew was that here he was lying with her when she woke up. Pepper couldn't contain the smile that came to her lips. She adjusted herself a bit and just watched him.

It wasn't the first time.

She remembered the times she'd watched him before. She always thought that he looked so much peaceful…and still…when he slept. She was sure that it was one of the few times when he allowed himself rest…and sometimes for days. Pepper hadn't been one hundred percent, but she knew that he hadn't been sleeping so much since they'd been help there and she was sure even less

And it was like the world stopped.

It was just Tony and her.

Pepper reached out and lightly traced his face and then eventually moved her hand down to hover over the arc reactor. She was so thankful that he'd lived… And that although things could be extremely and out of control awkward between the time of them, it wasn't. There was a comfort there that she wasn't quite sure where it came from.

"This is a fantasy, you know," he whispered and caught her by surprise. She smiled though and he opened his eyes to look at her.

"Being held captive in a cave by terrorists and forced to build a missile?" she teased.

"Don't forget about the shrapnel."

"Mustn't forget that."

His hand was on her face, gently caressing as he stared at her. Tony leaned towards her and she leaned in to meet him. Her eyes closed as they came within an inch of each other. Her lips started to part.

"Come eat!" Yinsen shouted. "It's going to be a long day! No arguments! You both need to eat!"

Pepper opened her eyes and just smiled at Tony. Their lips were just brushing. He pressed his forehead to hers and let out a sigh. She let out a quiet laugh.

"Stark! Ms. Potts!" Yinsen called.

"Why is it that he calls you _Ms._ Potts and I'm _just _Stark?" Tony whispered.

She beamed. "He likes me better." She moved reluctantly away from him. She ran her fingers through her hair and then started to braid it.

"I like it down," Tony told her from where he was still laying. He looked more comfortable than normal.

"Just one more day," Pepper told him as she reached for the scarf. His hand covered hers for a moment and their eyes met.

Things were different.

It wasn't just Tony…

She was different.

_They_ were different.

"Are you two coming?" Yinsen asked as he appeared.

Pepper pulled her hand and the scarf away from Tony. She pulled on the scarf and secured it quickly.

"You're so pushy this morning," Tony half complained to Yinsen. "This is the first time I've slept in—"

"Four days," Yinsen filled in. He didn't seem to be forgiving though. He held out his hand for Pepper and she gladly took it. She was up on her feet far quicker than she would have been under her own steam.

Yinsen was holding onto her as they walked towards where the stove and the 'kitchen' were. She looked back over her shoulder at Tony to see that he didn't seem too thrilled. She would have loved to have finished their moment… For them to break that barrier. But maybe it was for the better. Maybe it was just better to wait and see if they had the same connection once they were no longer being held captive in a foreign country.

The thought had crossed her mind.

The thought that maybe all they were feeling had to do with their current circumstances. Was it just merely because they feared for their lives everyday? Was it because they had known each other for so long and knew that they could completely trust each other? She almost hated herself for feeling so much comfort in his embrace. What if things changed when they got home? What if he went back to his one night stands? Pepper remembered that she'd prayed for him to live and had told herself that she'd be content even if they went back to that way of life. It would break her heart, but she knew she could carry on just knowing that he lived.

"Ms. Potts," Yinsen's voice rang through. His hands shaking her a little. "Pepper—"

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"Are you okay?" he asked. He pressed the soup into her hands.

Pepper nodded. "Thank you, Yinsen."

"I want you to eat as much as you can," he told her. He held out a single pill. "One now and then another later… It will help with the extended walking you'll have to do." She watched as he tucked the remaining pills into his vest.

Tony eventually joined them and it was almost like they weren't being held captive. Pepper liked those times the best. The times where they could just chat and complain about the soup. Yinsen never appreciated it, but even he would complain. These moments were filled with quips, jokes, smiles, laughter, and friendship.

The door flew open without warning and Pepper looked between Yinsen and Tony before getting up and trying to get back to where the mattresses were. She didn't make it far before she was grabbed.

It was confusing. There was screaming in English and in a mix of other languages. One minute, she remembered reaching out for Tony…their fingertips brushing…and then she was yanked away. They were pulling her out of the room and down the hall. Raza was there barking orders and Pepper felt sick as the guards pushed her past him.

They hadn't prepared for this.

They hadn't thought that he'd take her…and not before Jericho was officially 'delivered' to Raza.

Pepper just wanted to fight the men and scream. She didn't want to be separated. She didn't want Raza touching her. She didn't want to be sent away. Sent somewhere where no one would likely ever find her… Sent away to probably people who didn't know her language and she didn't know theirs…

This wasn't how it was supposed to be…

They were going home…

As she panicked, she realized that she didn't know what they would do. She knew that Tony wouldn't want to leave her behind… But she also knew that it was possible that they could move her before Tony could get the chance to break out of their prison.

They threw her into a cell and she just found a corner. They left her there. It was dimly lit and there were a couple of chairs and a table with something piled up on top of it. She didn't care what it held. All she wanted was to go home…

. . .

Men entered and Pepper expected Raza to appear. She'd glanced up once the door had been closed and she'd heard them speaking amongst themselves. She tried to keep her gaze down, but her worry was escalating.

She didn't realize it at first, but one of the men were barking at her. Pepper looked up in surprise and she was hauled up and shoved against the wall. She let out a whimper and tried to struggle. One of them pulled at her clothing and effectively removed her blazer and then her scarf. Pepper was fairly sure that this wasn't a punishment set by Raza. So, she screamed and screamed.

One of them was unfastening his belt and pants, one was advancing on her and Pepper wondered if he was going to hold her still, and the other one was still pulling at her clothing. She tried to curl up but she could feel the buttons being ripped from her blouse as the one continued to pull. Pepper let out another scream and then just started to sob uncontrollably.

The sound of the door being opened quickly echoed through the room and Pepper feared that more had come in to join in. Her heart was racing, she felt like she couldn't breathe, and yet the sobs and tears continued.

Tony…

Pepper wasn't sure if he could hear her or not, but she felt like it was a possibility and maybe he could get to her. She wasn't sure how long it would take him to get into the suit, though. It had so many parts and needed to be assembled with Tony inside. She just wanted him to hurry…and she wanted to leave…

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

She cringed with each shot and tried to curl further into a ball. The hands were off of her, though and right now that was enough for her to breathe a little easier. Her heart still raced and pounded in her ears.

"Shh… Shh…" Raza's voice filled the room. "Don't worry, Zahara…"

And yet she worried.

"Open your eyes," he whispered.

She didn't know what it was, but his voice was quiet and she felt like she could trust him when he said things. He'd not punished her before for speaking to him when he'd given her permission. She just hoped that this was the same. Pepper slowly opened her eyes as she tried to calm herself, at least a little bit. Raza was kneeing down in front of her and a body came into her view and her eyes widened and she took in the sight of all three men who had been in there with her before. Raza had killed them all.

"Don't worry," he told her. "I don't wish to harm you if I don't have to. I will make sure no one else touches you either…" He reached out and brushed her cheek with his hand. "It's time that I send you away for a short time." He straightened and pulled the pile from the table and dropped it down in front of her. "You need to change into these clothes in order to travel… My brother is already waiting to transport you."

"Please, Raza," she whispered. Pepper looked up at him, pleading with her eyes.

"It's this…or death, Zahara…" Raza said. "I'm trying to protect you."

And she could see it in his eyes, as much as it terrified her, he was telling the truth. She didn't know why he felt like he needed to protect her. If it was because he found her exotic or beautiful or if it was just because she was a woman in a foreign land and she'd tried to be as respectful as possible. She didn't understand.

"I want to go home," Pepper whispered as tears continued to roll down her face.

"You may not be safe there."

"Wha-what do you mean?"

It didn't make sense.

Why wouldn't she be safe?

The threat was there.

They hadn't been ambushed and held in the US, they'd been held in Afghanistan. Pepper just shook her head and tried to make sense of what he was saying, but it just didn't compute in her head. She wanted to ask him more, but someone came to the door and spoke and Raza just nodded. He turned back to her and looked quite serious.

"Change," he said. "I will return very soon with my brother. It might not be safe for much longer…" He paused and stared at her. "Do you understand, Zahara?"

Pepper just nodded. All she could wonder was if it was becoming unsafe because of US military activity or if it was Tony and Yinsen or something else… Without her blouse, blazer, or scarf, she was pretty much forced to change. She waited until Raza was gone before stripping out of her slacks; they were absolutely nasty and smelled. It was almost a relief to remove them. She pulled on the full length grey dress and fastened things and tied things in place to make it work. The dress had long sleeves and fell to the floor, it was quite loose, but it worked. Pepper looked over the over items. She pulled on the new headscarf that had been provided, it was pretty blue. She left the other item that she could only guess was a shawl of some kind on the floor beside her. She still on had on socks. No shoes.

Raza returned with a man who looked younger than he did. "This is my brother, Zahara… He will escort you to our family… He will keep you safe. You will do your best to follow his direction. His English is not as good as mine." Raza looked to his brother and spoke, but not in English and Pepper wondered how this was all going to work.

The sound of metal against metal and loud creaking echoed throughout. She froze and she noticed that it took both Raza and his brother by surprise as well.

"Come now," Raza said quickly and he gathered up the material off the floor and flung it around her to cover her. "I will see you both soon."

Pepper wasn't sure what was more frightening…leaving behind Tony and Yinsen…leaving behind Raza…going with Raza's brother…or having to face a world that she would not be able to fit into given that she didn't even know the language. She walked along with Raza's brother and looked back for only a moment before turning back around. She kept her gaze down and stayed close to Raza's brother. She didn't like it, but at least Raza had shown a kinder side and so she felt like she had to trust him…for now at least.

As they exited the cave, she had to adjust her vision. The light was almost blinding after being in the dimly lit cave all of this time. She didn't even know how long… It was maddening… How much time had she lost? But it didn't matter…not right this moment. Those maddening questions could wait until later… Stacks and stacks of Stark Industries weapons were piled all outside of the cave under covers and Pepper just gasped at the sheer number.

How had they gotten their hands on them?

Were they stolen?

Were they bought?

If they'd been bought, then who sold them to them?

. . .

Pepper had found out that Raza's brother's name was Roshad. Though his English was not perfect, he had spent some time in the United States when he was younger with an uncle. He explained that Raza had explained to him what was happening and what he was to do. He had also explained some other things that he thought she should know in case she didn't. She knew most of it. After all, most of what Roshad had told her was how Raza seemed to come to like her. It really wasn't her, it had really been Yinsen's doing. He had been the one who had instructed her.

"All men here are not bad," Roshad told her. "Some will rape, torture, pour acid on faces, or even kill their women…or women that they want. Raza is not like that. You are lucky."

Pepper remained quiet as she listened to him speak. She wondered if Raza had ordered a pep talk or if Rhosad was just bored and wanted to talk. Some men liked to hear themselves talk.

"And then, the women are so upset…" Rhosad continued. "They will set themselves on fire or go to prison."

Tears fell from her eyes as she stared out the window of the vehicle they were traveling in. Rhosad had told her that she should be in the back, but since it was a truck with only one cab…she had to sit next to him. He had explained how it was for her own safety. She didn't understand. She didn't feel like she understood anything right now.

"Sometimes these things…it is confusing I think for outsiders…but there is shame…and families do not like to live in shame…"

She let the tears fall and bowed her head slightly as she tried not to worry too much about the future. If there was a future. What would Raza expect? What would his family expect? She was used to conducting Stark Industries business and taking care of Tony. She supposed that taking care of Tony was as close to having a significant other as she'd had in some time. That was mostly Tony's fault…though perhaps he was more like a child… And here Rhosad was telling her all of these scary and awful things that Pepper knew happened…

Pepper had remembered seeing on the world news about how women who had been raped were sent to prison and charged with forced adultery and how women had acid poured on their face in order to disfigure it so that no one would want them. She needed to make her brain stop.

Tony.

And she just wanted to cry more. She was sure that Rhosad thought that she was going to cry for days. Maybe she would. The last time she'd needed her brain shut off, Tony had been there…he'd held her and rocked her to sleep. He'd seeped comfort and safety. She wiped away the tears and tried to focus on that. She tried to keep that specific memory in mind.

There was a loud sound behind them and then it was over them…and then there was a light that could barely be seen against the bright sky that flew far ahead of them. Pepper just stared in that direction, trying to figure out what it had been. She didn't think it was a military vehicle…but it didn't seem to blow anything up ahead of them, so she didn't think it was a missile…

"Head down," Rhosad said quickly and Pepper did it without questioning.

They came under fire and Pepper held her head down as he drove. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think of Tony holding her. Right now, that was her happy place. It wasn't enough though. Their vehicle was hit and hit hard. She was strapped in, but the truck flipped.

Everything was confusing.

For a split second, she thought she was going to die.

She didn't.

Not yet.

Pepper breathed and focused on breathing as she hung there, in the truck upside down. She had been extremely used to buckling her seat belt and she was happy that she'd done it. She looked over and saw Rhosad. He was already out of the truck and was looking around. He came back and cut her out. "Thank you," she whispered.

"We're not safe," he told her.

She wanted to ask 'who', but it really didn't matter right now.

"Go! That way!" Rhosad shouted as he pointed off to the right.

Pepper just started to hurry in that direction. There really wasn't a lot in the way of coverage. What she wouldn't give for a forest right now. For buildings…

For Tony.

. . .

TBC…

**End Note:** The next chapter will be from Tony's POV and will be the sole Tony POV chapter in this story :)


	7. Tony: The Iron Plan

**Title:** All That Counts

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** Iron Man and Avengers do not belong to me, but Marvel Entertainment and Disney. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** MA

**Summary:** Pepper accompanies Tony everywhere. The weapons demonstration for the military in Afghanistan is no different. An AU to "Iron Man".

**Warning: **none

**Author's Note:** Here's the Tony chapter! I followed my rough outline, but Tony turned things around a bit differently than I'd originally planned! Enjoy!

I know this plotline has been done before, but hopefully this comes out as something different. Constructive criticism is as always appreciated! Check out my blog on my writing at

. . .

"_Letting it get to you. You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts." -The Doctor ('The Doctor's Wife')_

. . .

"Pepper!" Tony screamed. Yinsen was pulling him back and guards were holding him firmly in place. Tony's heart like it was being squeezed. He tried to push past, but it didn't help. They only shoved him and he found himself being shoved into Yinsen. She'd looked so terrified and here he was breaking his promise to protect her. He'd promised her that Raza wouldn't take her again, that they wouldn't touch her, and that they were going home today.

He wanted to keep those promises.

Pepper was more than just his assistant. He'd seen something in her long ago when she worked for Stark Industries before he'd made her his assistant. Tony was sure that it had been a combination of her mind, charm, and good looks. He couldn't help it, he was fairly sure he'd been drunk then…or at least intoxicated. He didn't have any regrets. Pepper had grown into something more than an assistant. She was his conscious. She was his anchor to reality. She was the light in his world. She was his best friend. Not the kind that tells you how fabulous you are, she was the one who would tell you how badly you screwed up and then tell you how to fix it. And she deserved so much more than the last several years…

Would he have been able to keep sane without her?

Maybe.

Would he be this okay?

Maybe.

Would he have already decided to change things when he got home?

Maybe.

Would he be able to do it without her?

Absolutely not.

He needed her, like air.

Pepper Potts, his savior.

He suddenly realized that maybe that was why his heart twisted so painfully. The arc reactor was still functional, so it wasn't the shrapnel pushing against his heart. He fumed as he glared in Raza's direction.

If he laid a hand up her—

"Now," Raza said. "I want to see the missiles."

"Bring Pepper back," Tony said quickly.

"Stark," Yinsen said quietly. "Let us show him…"

"No," Raza responded.

"I did what you asked, I built Jericho," he said as he motioned in the direction of the false Jericho missiles. "She doesn't need to be harmed any further than she already has been…"

"Who said I was harming her?"

"Then—"

"We do not need the distraction," Raza said. "I have brought a doctor to look at her. Here, our women are looked after by female doctors… I'm sure you can understand that the doctor requested seeing her in a private area." He just smiled and Tony just couldn't tell if he was flat out lying or if he was being sincere. "She will not be harmed. I have seen to it. She will be well taken care of."

Tony turned to see Yinsen giving him a very stern look on his face. He'd been spending too much time with Pepper. He recognized that face. It meant that he'd screwed up. It wasn't his fault, though! He was just trying to protect her the best he knew how! Right now, he wasn't doing a very good job at it!

"Fine," Tony huffed. He moved towards where the 'missiles' were. They were shells with crap stuffed into them to make them heavy and believable enough if they were moved. One of them, he'd purposely made a panel for. It worked, except it hardly contained any ammunitions. So, if they needed him to fire one, that was the one…he'd just pack it a little better before firing it…or claim that there was something faulty. He could figure out something on the spot.

He was explaining the controls to which the Jericho was mounted. Tony didn't spare Raza from all of the weapons talk. He gave him all the details. He wanted to convince him. He was fairly sure that he was doing a good job, too. "You see, the beauty of Jericho is—" Tony said and then suddenly froze when he heard Pepper's screams. He heard Raza murmur 'Zahara' before disappearing out the door.

Tony turned to Yinsen who looked completely confused and shocked. "That's Pepper… Something's wrong…" He wondered if Raza had given her to his men, but then why would he be so concerned when she screamed out? Wouldn't that be what he wanted? Raza had seemed sincerely concerned and Tony had seen it in his eyes, he cared. And though Tony was battling other emotions over Pepper, he found jealousy raging inside of him as well.

"Time to suit up," Tony told Yinsen.

"She's stopped screaming," Yinsen pointed out. "Raza has most likely—"

"I don't care what we think is happening… We're getting out…now. We'll find Pepper on the way out," Tony said and moved to where they hid the armor pieces. It had been easy enough. There was so much scrap and leftovers that littered the workspace that no one would have really been the wiser.

Yinsen was irritated, Tony knew. He wanted him to be patient. He couldn't be patient. He didn't want to find Pepper in a pool of her own blood… He didn't want to find her raped and beaten… He wanted to take her home, like he promised. He wouldn't break that promise. They were going home. No matter what it took, he was going to keep that promise to her.

"Right now, we're alive… We have to be smart about this, Stark!"

Yinsen was following as he complained, that was really all Tony cared about. "We are," Tony told him as he pulled out the pieces and set them up, so that assembly would be easy. "There's a plan. You've told me how to get out of this cave. I remember." Yinsen sighed. "I'm not going to just sit in here and wait…not when Pepper—"

"I do not believe that Raza would hurt her…you saw how he acted when he heard the screams," Yinsen pointed out.

"She's still not back," Tony told him. He still remembered how battered Pepper had been when they'd returned her the last time. There had been bruises everywhere. "Look, we said today… It's going to be today." Tony left Yinsen for a moment and went to where he and Pepper normally slept. His heart ached a bit more upon seeing their empty sleeping spots. He picked up the discarded Kevlar vest that Pepper had been wearing. He carried it back and shoved it at Yinsen. "You're going to wear this."

"Pepper—"

"If you want to give it back to her, that's fine," Tony told him. "Either way, wear it until we get to her."

Yinsen nodded. He set it down on the worktable. "But first, let's get you bolted in." He picked up the tool he needed to start the process. "Tell me the plan." And Tony started to recite how to get out of the cave, just as Yinsen had told him previously.

. . .

Clad in the armor he'd designed, Tony tested his movement. Yinsen ignited the flamethrowers on it and it seemed like everything was set. Tony didn't know how long it had taken for him to be bolted in, but in all that time…no one had come back. No one had brought Pepper… They'd just been left alone. All the while, Tony had worried. It ate at him. His gut twisted and it overshadowed even the pain he still felt.

Between his body still healing from the beating he'd taken before and the surgery, Tony felt like crap. But he had to keep going. He'd pushed himself for Pepper. He'd made sure that she had the pain medication that she needed. He could cope with the pain. After all, the pain pills really hadn't been helping for a bit. He was fairly sure that he was just going to have to get used to having a hole in his chest with some foreign device. At least the arc reactor was the better option than Yinsen's original electro-magnet.

"Time to go," Tony told Yinsen.

He waited as Yinsen pulled on the Kevlar vest and secured it. Tony was ready to move out once Yinsen was ready. And he was. They had talked about this. It was a plan. Yinsen was to stay back until Tony cleared each area. They'd find Pepper as they made their way out. Yinsen was fairly sure that he knew where all the 'rooms' and nooks of the cave were. Tony just hoped that he was right.

The blast for the doors was easy. Tony had set that up, no problem. But he really hadn't been ready for what came after. He swung his arms smacking anyone in his way into the rocky interior walls. He was trying to conserve his ammo and weapons. It wasn't hard, most of the men went running in the opposite direction.

It took them much longer, but they swept through slowly. "Here!" Yinsen's shout rang out. Tony moved to the room that Yinsen was in. It had a heavy door on it, which was open. There were three bodies, shot to death, on the floor. He found Yinsen kneeling on the floor holding up Pepper's clothing. "The buttons have been removed," Yinsen said as he looked over the blouse.

The yell that came from behind them caught them both by surprise. Tony was sure that he'd cleared the area and that no one was there. The shot had rung out before Tony could even turn fully in the suit. But it wasn't the shot that scared him. It was the fact that the shot hit Yinsen. Tony turned and was about to fire on him when a shot hit the man first.

More were coming…

But he couldn't leave Yinsen. He looked down and examined Yinsen, the shot had grazed his arm and had hit through in the arm opening. The shot had hit him in the chest. "We have to go," he said and was about to try to pick him up.

"Find Pepper," Yinsen barely got out. "This was always the plan." Tony felt worry overtaking him. He stared down at Yinsen, he had the scarf that Pepper had been wearing clenched in his hand.

He was alone.

"There's nothing you can do for him now."

The voice behind him sent anger through his body. He felt rage and jealousy. Tony knew he was right, though. As much as he hated it. Yinsen wasn't making it out. He needed to find Pepper though.

Raza.

Tony turned to see the man standing there, gun in hand. He had been the one to kill the man who had killed Yinsen. "Where is she?"

"This is far more impressive, Stark," Raza complimented.

"Where. Is. She?" Tony asked again.

"I sent her away. They wanted you dead, but they didn't say that I needed to kill her. I sent her with my brother. He's taking her to my home where she'll be safe and taken care of," Raza told him. "I did not lie to you, Stark. I intend to keep her safe and unharmed. I thought I could trust these men," Raza said as he motioned to the dead men on the floor. "I managed to get to her before they did anything. I assure you that she's safe…they ripped her clothing and scared her…but they didn't do more."

"How can I believe you?" Tony asked as he tried to think if he really believed Raza.

"She's not dead on the floor," Raza told him.

"She said that you were going to keep her as your wife," Tony said.

Raza smiled. "That does not please you."

"No," Tony responded.

"I told you. I plan to keep her safe. It was the only way. She may not be safe if I sent her home to the United States," Raza said.

Tony held up his arm and opened the panel that held the small missile. "Tell me where she is!"

"Not here."

"I noticed."

Raza just smiled. "She's safe. You should die happy knowing that." He held up his gun and pointed it at Tony.

"She's not safe! I'm taking her home! Tell me!"

"Kill me," Raza said, his smile transforming into a ghoulish grin. "You know what happens then? My beautiful Zahara is still safe… My brother will marry her in my place… He is young. He may not respect women as well as I do. I'm sure that my father will teach him…and teach her… Think about it…"

Tony was thinking. He was so torn at whether or not he could believe or trust Raza. "I'm going to find her…"

"You can try, Stark."

"You would have saved Yinsen…"

"I would have," Raza confirmed. "He was a good man—"

"He had a family!"

"His family is dead, Stark," Raza told him. "I'm afraid that Abu and some others killed them some time back… They didn't realize they were Yinsen's family…but now they are together."

Tony didn't know that… He thought that he could help Yinsen. That he could reunite him with his family… He was planning on helping them any way that he could… But really, Yinsen had been the one who had helped him. He'd saved his life…in more ways than one. He'd kept them all safe and alive.

Being alive is all that matters right now.

"Move!" Tony yelled. "Move! Before I change my mind!" Tony shouted. He was burning up with anger, but he felt the need to let Raza have another chance… Maybe he really had been trying to help in small ways. That didn't mean that Tony was just going to forgive him for everything, though. He was just going to keep going and not look back. If Raza got in his way again, then he'd kill him without a second thought.

Raza didn't move. "I am supposed to kill you, Stark."

"Not today," Tony told him and as Raza fired, the bullets bounced off of the armor. Tony brought up the heavy bulky arm and swung it. Raza went flying and he made his way out of the room and back towards the exit. He went over the plan in his head as he continued on. He couldn't run in the suit, but he made his best speed just the same.

He was going to get out.

He was going to find Pepper.

They were going to go home.

. . .

As he exited the cave, bullets bounced off of the armor and as he took in the sheer number of men outside and the Stark Industries weapon crates after his eyes adjusted to the blinding light. He couldn't stay there. He knew that with the number of people shooting at him while he just stood there that there was a greater chance of someone penetrating his armor.

He needed to go.

First, he needed to take care of business. He needed to see that his name wasn't tarnished any further…and he was going to start now, but he would continue fixing it once he returned home. Tony started to set the weapons crates on fire and firing on them. What a true nightmare this trip had become…

He was sure that his father was rolling over in his grave right now.

Stark Industries had belonged to his father who had made it big with new weapons and military contracts. Though he and his father had never had a good relationship growing up, Tony was sure that he would have been appalled to see his name on weapons in the hands of terrorists. Once he found Pepper and completed his promise, he was going to track down every Stark Industries weapon in the hands of non-US military hands and destroy them all.

And it was then as fire surrounded him and explosions took over that he realized that he needed to be more like his father… He needed to care about the Stark name… He needed to do more with the company. He actually needed to be involved. Tony was sure that that would give Obadiah a stroke when he got back. He had to do it though.

He had to live.

He had to have purpose.

Real purpose.

"I'm coming, Pep," he whispered as he engaged the thrusters and took off. He just hoped that he'd be able to land it…in one piece.

. . .

He was starting to feel like he'd really made it. That Yinsen's sacrifice wasn't for nothing. Tony really wasn't in much control of the suit though. It wasn't like he'd had the computers and JARVIS that he had back home. And then it suddenly hit him.

He missed JARVIS.

He missed his robots.

All of them.

He missed Happy.

He missed Rhodey.

He felt completely lost without Pepper.

At the same time, he was feeling completely free as he shot through the air. He had been trying to keep an eye below him, but there was so much more activity than he'd expected. Several vehicles were in his view and he didn't even know if Pepper had left by way of vehicle or in what direction she had headed in. He just hoped that it wasn't into the Hindu Kush into another cave.

He saw a vehicle hit another and Tony felt the urge to help, but couldn't. The armor was doing its own thing. He found that he was losing altitude and was about to crash. He knew it was coming and he was cringing at the horrible thought.

When the armor collided with the sandy desert floor, he groaned and yelped…and screamed…and groaned again…and cursed. If he didn't hurt enough before, he surely did now. Tony was fairly sure that his bruises had bruises. After a moment, his vision stabilized and he remembered seeing some kind of massive set of buildings.

Tony was hoping that it was military.

He was hoping that it was US military.

Removing the armor's headpiece, he threw it away. He discarded every piece that hadn't already fallen off. Tony didn't know if he'd broken anything, so far his limbs seemed to move…miraculously. But his ribs were another thing. His whole chest hurt, but he could handle it. The arc reactor was still functional, so he was good. He could take the pain.

As he got to his feet, he pulled the welding jacket off and positioned it so that it would protect his head and face from the sun above. He also hoped that it wouldn't make him a target, maybe someone would just think that he'd gotten lost. He tried to get his bearings. He had figured that if he could make it to that base. He was still hoping that it was a US military base. Then he could get them to help him find Pepper.

He was still Tony Stark after all.

And if Rhodey was alive, then he was sure that he'd be on board with getting everything cleared and mobilized. They had to find her. He didn't think that tracking her down by telling them that Raza (no last name) had sent her off with his brother (no name there either) to his family (in he didn't know where the hell).

Without his armor, he needed transportation and weapons. Which was why he really needed the military. He didn't care if they didn't want to help him or not. If they gave him a truck and a gun, he'd find her himself. And then at least they could tell Rhodey he was alive.

It would be enough.

It had to be a military base.

Tony groaned as he headed through the sand. Every step was labored and took far too much effort. His chest ached and he tried to focus on three things: breathing, walking, and Pepper.

He was going to find her.

. . .

TBC…


	8. So Close and Yet So Far

**Title:** All That Counts

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** Iron Man and Avengers do not belong to me, but Marvel Entertainment and Disney. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** MA

**Summary:** Pepper accompanies Tony everywhere. The weapons demonstration for the military in Afghanistan is no different. An AU to "Iron Man".

**Warning: **none

**Author's Note:** I know this plotline has been done before, but hopefully this comes out as something different. Constructive criticism is as always appreciated! Check out my blog on my writing at

. . .

"_Letting it get to you. You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts." -The Doctor ('The Doctor's Wife')_

. . .

"Keep moving!" Rhosad shouted.

Pepper was having problems moving quickly in the sand with what she was wearing. She let the shawl drop to the ground and tried to gather up the skirt. She was wearing socks and they felt like they were making her slip even more. What she wouldn't give for shoes or boots. Something sensible.

She slipped and cried out as her ankle twisted in the sand. Pepper looked back and could see the men who had been following them on foot. Why they had abandoned their vehicle to follow on foot, she didn't know…but it was what was probably keeping them alive. A luck of fate. Reaching down, she pulled off both socks and started to get back to her feet. Rhosad helped her the rest of the way up and pushed her forward slightly.

"Go!" he yelled again.

She could hear the sound of an automatic weapon behind her and she looked over her shoulder just long enough to see that it was Rhosad shooting at the men following them. Pepper's eyes were streaming with tears. Not only was her body aching all over, but so was her ankle. She pushed anyways, determined to not stop again. Rhosad said that there was someplace she'd be safe. He hadn't said where or what it was…but she trusted him. She had to.

Her life depended on it.

But her body was done. She kept pushing, but she knew it was only a matter of time and it wouldn't be long. She wasn't supposed to be walking around so much. Yinsen had warned her that the journey that they had planned would take a toll on her body, but he'd planned on giving her pain medication. She'd only had one pill all day.

And she could feel everything…

Pepper didn't know if the adrenaline had hit her with a high and now this was her low, but she suddenly realized that wherever Rhosad had intended them to go was too far. It was too far for her to travel under her own steam. She couldn't do it.

She couldn't do it.

Tony…

Her mind wandered and she found herself collapsing into the sand as her legs gave in underneath her. She was missing her pants suddenly, no matter how badly they'd been…they would have been better to move around in compared to the dress she'd been told to wear.

"Zahara!" Rhosad yelled. "Get up! They're coming!"

Tears streamed down her face. She wanted to yell at him. To tell him that her name was Pepper. She didn't want the last word she heard before she was killed to be a name she was given while in captivity. She was Pepper, no matter what Raza said…no matter what her birth certificate said.

"I can't," she breathed.

Rhosad hauled her up to her feet and pushed her on once again. "You must! They will not kill you! They will rape you and hurt you! You must go!"

And she knew that he was right.

And it was enough to keep her going…

. . .

She didn't know how long they'd been moving. She'd look back here and there and it seemed like the number of people following them were dwindling. Pepper felt like she couldn't go another step or breathe. The wind had picked up and the sands were stirring. She knew it wasn't anything as extreme as a sandstorm, but to her…it felt like one.

"We are almost there," Rhosad said as he came up to her side and took one of her arms and put his other arm around her back in order to support her better. Pepper wasn't sure if it was helping or not. She was exhausted.

The sounds of motors, no…of vehicles…came up behind them and she didn't turn. She could see a faint scattering of trees up ahead and she didn't know she could be so happy to see trees. She had a feeling that that was where they had to go. That was safety.

It was so far!

Too far!

She wasn't going to make it!

Tears ran down her cheeks as she thought about Tony. She was so close! He'd promised that they'd go home today…and even though he hadn't been the one to get her this far, she was still so close to it… She could see the signs announcing the small city that lay before them behind barricades.

Camp Joyce.

It looked like it was US and Afghan forces working together. Pepper didn't care. She was just happy to see the US flag on the sign. It meant that they were going somewhere where she _knew _that she'd be safe. She didn't need to hide herself. And they'd know… They'd know who she was, she was sure. They'd know who Tony Stark was. They'd go and look for him…and they'd bring him home.

"Go!" Rhosad yelled. "I try to keep them busy!"

"They'll kill you!" Pepper argued as they came to a stop.

"I promised my brother I would keep you safe, Zahara… I will not break that promise," Rhosad told her with a small smile. "Now, you must run!"

"I can't go any farther," she said, tears still streaming down her face.

"You get close enough, they will see you are a woman. They will come and get you. Now go! Do not worry about me!"

And she didn't want to go, but she knew that she had to. The vehicles were almost there. She needed to get close enough. Maybe the vehicles wouldn't go close to the base. She didn't know. For all she knew, the base was used to full on assaults. But as she pushed herself she could make out figures at the base. She didn't know how the base operated, but she just hoped that the people out front wouldn't shoot first.

The doors to the camp opened and Pepper realized that she was still covered up. She looked back at Rhosad, who was shooting at the trucks. She tried to suck in breath as and she reached up and started to untie the scarf. She saw the military vehicles at the gate and she wondered what they'd think. All she knew was that not being a woman was enough…any man could hide in woman's clothing and approach it.

The scarf dropped from her fingers, Pepper let the blue scarf fall to the sand and left it behind. She reached up and ran her fingers through her hair. Her red hair flowing in the wind. She hoped that it was enough. That they'd at least recognize that she wasn't a local. She didn't think any of the locals had light hair.

The trucks moved forward towards her and she just dropped into the sand. She sobbed and just hoped that they would stop to help her. Pepper looked back and saw that the other vehicles were moving back, but she couldn't see Rhosad. It was a blur behind her and the sand that was being kicked up didn't help anything.

The military vehicles stopped near her and when she finally looked up, she saw faces smiling down at her. "Are you Virginia Potts?" the man asked.

Pepper just nodded as the tears continued to stream down her face.

"We're going to get you safely inside, Ma'am."

"The man I was with—"

"Mr. Stark?"

"Yes…no…" she struggled to make sense. "Tony is still out there… I don't know where he is… But there was a man who was helping me… His name is Rhosad… Please…those men…I don't know…he helped me…" she said as she looked back and was starting to lose hope that Raza's little brother was still alive.

"We'll go check on things," the man said and signaled the other vehicle. "But we're going to get you inside and have a medic look you over."

"Tony—"

"I'll put out word for him as well."

"Rhodey," she whispered. Pepper suddenly wondered about Rhodey. Did these men know what had happened to the convoy they had been apart of? Would they know if there had been survivors? Would they know if Rhodey was one of them? "Colonel Rhodes," Pepper said as they helped her up into the vehicle. "Do you know if he's alive?"

The man smiled. "He's alive, Ma'am. He's been on all of our asses to keep an eye out for you… He's not far. Kabul. Not far. He'll be down here once he hears you're here."

Rhodey was alive.

Pepper's mind flew. She tried to contain herself. There were so many emotions hitting her right now and she hated looking like a blubbering mess. She knew that once they contacted Rhodey that he'd pass along the word home… He'd tell Obadiah and Happy. And hopefully they'd send out search teams of some kind to find Tony…

He was alive.

Pepper was sure of it.

Tony was out there and he was alive.

. . .

Pepper wasn't sure of how much time had passed. They'd taken her to the medical building and she'd been assigned to a female medic. She was sure that this was intentional. She had to admit, she appreciated it. She'd been surrounded by men for far too long. She didn't even know how long. She hadn't thought to ask. She just wanted them to find Tony… They hadn't even told her if they'd found Rhosad… She supposed that they were probably waiting.

"I'm going to need you to remove your clothing, Ma'am… I'll get you a gown you can wear," the medic said.

"No," Pepper whispered.

"Ma'am?"

"I need to be ready when they find Tony," Pepper told her. Her tears had all dried up and she was fairly sure that her eyes were too dry to produce anymore. Everything hurt. It wasn't just the injuries that she'd already sustained… It was the bottoms of her feet, which felt like they were burned… Her face felt raw…

"Can I get you to at least drink some water?" the medic asked. She held out a bottle to Pepper.

Pepper accepted it gratefully. "Thank you," she told the other woman as she twisted the top.

"Drink it slowly, though… I have no doubt that you're suffering from dehydration and your body needs you to take it slow as much as you might want to gulp it down," the medic said. "I'll be right back."

Pepper nodded and sipped on it. It did take her willpower to keep from gulping it down. It wasn't even cold, but it tasted so good. It felt so good…

It took her a while, but she realized that the medic hadn't returned.

Maybe she was telling someone else how she wasn't cooperating. Pepper didn't care. She wanted to wait for Tony. The exhaustion was hitting her, though… She watched the clock on the wall and wondered how long she'd been there… How much time had passed? Were they out looking for Tony? How long would they look? How far?

"Pepper!"

She didn't move. Pepper was literally ready to drop. She hurt all over and the journey had been physically and emotionally exhausting. She wondered if they'd just let her sleep there… If they could just leave her alone… She'd sleep now and then she'd do whatever they wanted later…maybe…if they'd found Tony…

"Pepper," the voice said again. Her eyes were half closed, but they opened a bit more when Rhodey came into sight. He crouched down in front of her. "Pepper? You okay?"

"Hi," she whispered. A small smile formed on her lips.

"Hi," he replied with a smile.

"Tony—"

"I already know," he told her. "I have people out there… They're looking for him… They'll find him…"

"We thought you were dead," she admitted, suddenly sad. The memories hit her and tears streamed down her face. They'd been in the humvee with Rhodey and they'd come under attack. She remembered that Tony had wanted to ride in a different one, but she hadn't allowed it. Both of the humvees in front of them had been hit and Pepper had suspected that there were no survivors…

"I thought the same for you two," he said and reached out to gently cup her cheek. "But you're safe now… You've got to let them look you over…"

"I'm fine…"

"Pepper," Rhodey said. "You've been here for months… In all that time, can you tell me that no one ever touched you?"

She looked away. "They didn't rape me," she whispered. Pepper was sure that that was what the medic and Rhodey were worried about. She'd come to them dressed in different clothes and she'd been held… She couldn't blame them for thinking that…or for worrying… "They beat both of us," she said suddenly and turned back to Rhodey. "And then the man…he was trying to help me…even though I didn't want to go…he said I wasn't going to be safe if I went home…"

"Why would he say that?"

"I don't know," Pepper told him as she just stared. She wasn't staring at Rhodey. The clock kept distracting her. How much time had passed? How long had they been looking for Tony? How long would they search?

"You've got to let them look you over, Pepper," Rhodey told her again.

"When they find Tony—"

"Do you think Tony would want you to wait?"

Pepper's eyes felt like they were going to fill with tears, but they didn't. She wasn't sure why she wanted to cry so badly… If it was just the mention of Tony? She didn't know. She felt like her emotions were just so out of control. Maybe it was because she needed to sleep.

"Pepper…he's going to kick my ass if he finds out that I didn't make sure you got care when you got here," Rhodey told her. "Let them look you over… I'll make arrangements… Make sure you get a shower, a hot meal, and a bed…"

"Will you stay with me?" she asked. "After the medic—"

"I don't think you want me there in the shower with you," Rhodey teased.

A shower did sound good, but she didn't think she could stand in there on her own. "Have you called Obadiah yet?"

Rhodey nodded. "And I called Happy… Obadiah's on his way here… he said he's bringing clothes for both of you… He was hoping to be here when they found Tony, but I'm hoping that we'll find Tony first." Pepper nodded. "And Happy's response was…it's about damn time…"

Pepper smiled at that. How she missed Happy. The two of them were normally always with Tony. She was sure that he'd felt alone and she didn't know if Obadiah would have assigned him to do anything else in their absence or if he'd just had down time.

"I'm going to go get the medic," he told her. "I won't be far if you need me." He got up and headed for the door.

"Rhodey?"

"Yeah?" he asked as he turned back to her.

"How long have we been here?" she asked.

Rhodey frowned. "Too long…"

"Rhodey…

"Five months…"

. . .

Pepper sat in the bottom of the shower and just tried to cry. The medic had helped her at first. There was a bar in there, so it had helped her to stand…and they had a shower chair. She didn't want any of it once she was washed clean. It felt amazing to actually feel clean… Her skin had practically sung and though she'd 'washed' here and there during their captivity, it wasn't the same. Her whole body felt fresh and cleansed. And yet…she still ached… She'd convinced the medic to leave her… She was washed, but she just needed to be alone… The medic had seemed hesitant, but had eventually agreed. She would be close by if Pepper needed anything though.

She tried to cry.

Tears didn't fall.

She'd cried herself out.

It didn't matter.

Curled up in the bottom of the shower, she sobbed quietly. She had tried to keep quiet, afraid that the medic would panic and come in and drag her out. She wasn't ready to leave yet. The water felt soothing in a way as she lay there curled up.

Five months…

They'd been there for five months…

When she'd been in that cave, it had felt more like five years, but now…now she wondered how that much time could have passed… She'd tried to think back and think about what had happened and what chunk was a month and what was three…and she couldn't figure out how it all added up to five months… She felt like she needed a piece of paper to write everything down…to try to timeline it…

Five months…

Was that why it hurt to be away from Tony so much? She'd been with him and Yinsen pretty much all hours, every day, for five months… And now, she felt so lonely and empty. She'd felt horrible when Rhosad had been taking her away… Was that really it? She missed them? She missed Tony? She missed his arms around her, his forehead against hers, and his lips to her forehead?

Five months…

What had changed in the outside world?

What had she missed?

What had _they_ missed?

Five months…

All that lost time…

"Ma'am?" the medic called.

"Just a minute," Pepper mustered as she tried to calm herself down. She forced herself up into a sitting position and reached up to turn off the water. She wiped her face, though there were no tears. She rubbed her face hard and tried to tell herself to breathe.

They would find Tony.

They had to.

Reaching up, she grabbed the bar along the wall and pulled herself up. She ached all over. It hurt to stand. It hurt to walk. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to be alive. Slowly, she made her way to the door and grabbed the towel that was waiting and wrapped herself in it. She opened the door just a bit to see the medic standing there.

"I know it's not much, Ma'am…but I figured it would fit for the time being. Colonel Rhodes said that there's clothing on its way for you that'll be more suitable," the medic told her.

"Thank you," Pepper said grateful to have something clean to change into. She took them and closed the door again. She sighed and set the clothing on the small bench that was right outside of the shower. She just hoped that the medic wouldn't panic if she took her time. She just really wanted to be left alone…unless they were there to tell her that they'd found Tony.

. . .

"They say you're not eating," Rhodey said as he approached Pepper. They'd talked about putting her in a room by herself, but she'd told them not to go to so much trouble. She didn't need her own room and really…watching all of the people in the medical ward made her remember that she was safe and with people who were going to keep her that way.

"I'm not hungry," Pepper told him.

He took a seat next to her bed. He looked over at the food tray that was on the table beside her bed. He looked back to her, he obviously wasn't very thrilled with the fact that she'd only moved stuff around. At least she'd touched it.

"What have you eaten in the last five months?" Rhodey questioned.

"Soup…and…soup…" She remembered when they'd first gotten there and Yinsen had made soup and she'd been completely disgusted by it. This morning, she'd been happy to eat as much as she could. It wasn't normal for them to eat so much.

"I can't imagine it was very hearty…"

"Probably not," she whispered and looked down. "I don't even know what was in it…"

"At least eat Jell-o or pudding…or ice cream…something," Rhodey requested. "I'll go to the mess and get you anything you want… Just…please eat something."

Pepper looked up at him and she could see it in his face. The medic had talked to him. She was sure of it. "What did she tell you?"

"That as far as she can see, you weren't sexually assaulted… That you've been badly beaten… That you're malnourished and dehydrated… The bottom of your feet are a bit burned and cut…" Rhodey said, voice was so sad. He frowned. "We've been looking, Pep—"

"I know," she told him. Pepper sighed and reached out and grabbed the red Jell-o on the tray and the spoon. She decided she'd eat it, just for Rhodey. "You do realize, this has no nutritional value…"

"It still makes me feel better," he told her with a slight smile.

Pepper removed the lid and took a bit of the Jell-o. It wasn't so bad. It was probably really the best thing to eat. They had brought her broth and other things that weren't too hard on your stomach, but she still hadn't thought any of it was very appetizing.

"When did they beat you?" he asked.

"I don't know," she told him honestly. "Days…week ago…two… I don't know… It feels like longer… Yinsen told me I had to be on bed rest for so long… The swelling was bad… He and Tony did something to make ice using chemicals…or something… The swelling started to finally go down… I just started moving around the other day…"

"Why? Did they tell you?"

She frowned. "Are you trying to play counselor or is it for intel?" she asked. Pepper really wasn't sure why he was asking. She was sure that there had to be some reason. She didn't mind telling him, she just preferred not to relive it all now that she was safe.

"Both I guess," Rhodey told her honestly with a shrug. Maybe he felt like if she talked to him then she wouldn't have to talk to someone later… Having someone she knew did make it easier though… She was sure that he knew that she could handle all of the questions or else he wouldn't be asking…plus, it was a distraction. She needed that.

"Because Tony made an arc reactor—"

"One of those things at Stark Industries?"

Pepper nodded. "A miniaturized version… He has shrapnel pressing against his heart. Yinsen designed an electro-magnet to sit in his chest that had to be hooked up to a car battery to keep it away. Tony made the arc reactor to replace it. Raza wasn't happy that Tony wasn't building him the Jericho…so he punished me."

"So, they just beat you?"

Pepper took a couple more bites of Jell-o. "Raza's men beat me with bricks…or stones…I couldn't be sure…" She looked up and saw Rhodey's face. He looked like he was ready to break down. She couldn't be upset with it right now. Her body was feeling better. She'd showered and the warmth had done wonders for her along with the dosage of pain pills.

"Who's Yinsen, Pepper?"

"Someone that Raza had already there… A doctor of some kind. We really didn't talk about it. He saved Tony's life. He helped Tony with what he built… And he told me how to stay safe in there," Pepper told him. She wondered if he thought that Yinsen was a figment of her imagination… She wouldn't be surprised, but she was fairly sure that he was a real person…and she hoped that they'd find him safe with Tony.

"Raza's the man in charge?" Rhodey asked.

"He worked for someone else," Pepper told him. "He was hired to kill Tony… He apparently just thought he could use him to build Jericho missiles too…" She was quiet a moment. "He might have ordered his men to beat me…but he protected me… He killed three of his men who tried to rape me… He sent me with his brother…he said it was so that I was safe…" She still wasn't sure what to think about that, but she was leaning towards that he was taking care of her in his own way.

"But he still _beat you_," he pointed out and seemed upset.

"His men did," Pepper corrected. She finished her Jell-o and found that she was overwhelmingly tired all of the sudden. She'd felt it earlier, but then once she'd hit the shower it had rejuvenated her. Now, it was hitting her again. "Did they find Rhosad? He had been trying to get me here before those men got to us…"

"No," Rhodey said. "They didn't find him."

She looked away and slouched down in the bed. Rhosad had been younger…he still had so much life left…she didn't know whether to think that he was alive and okay or if they'd taken him to kill him… She wondered if Rhodey thought that she had some kind of Stockholm syndrome…

"He's out there," she whispered. "Tony…"

"I know, we're going to find him," he told her.

Pepper blinked her eyes a few times, feeling sleeping tugging at her. She settled down further into the bed. She turned so that she was looking at Rhodey. "You'll wake me if they find Tony?"

"Yeah."

"You'll stay?" she requested. It wasn't that she was scared…it was just that if she started to scream or something…she wanted someone to be there to wake her up that she knew. Pepper blinked her eyes again, trying to keep her eyes open. She felt so heavy.

"Right now," Rhodey told her. "They're going to bring me something to eat."

She smiled. "Feel free to eat mine," she told him as she lay on her side and allowed her eyes to close. Pepper clutched the pillow and savored the feeling of a bed. Really, this wasn't a real bed…but it was far closer than the mattress she'd been sleeping on in the cave. She missed his arms though… The comforting glow of the arc reactor… His touch…

Tears fell from her eyes.

Pepper was sure that Rhodey saw, but she didn't care. She just lay there with her eyes closed and tried to think of Tony and his arms around her, his forehead pressed against hers, and his comforting words…

Tony…

. . .

TBC…


	9. Doctor's Orders Are Just a Suggestion

**Title:** All That Counts

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** Iron Man and Avengers do not belong to me, but Marvel Entertainment and Disney. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** MA

**Summary:** Pepper accompanies Tony everywhere. The weapons demonstration for the military in Afghanistan is no different. An AU to "Iron Man".

**Warning: **none

**Author's Note:** I know this plotline has been done before, but hopefully this comes out as something different. Constructive criticism is as always appreciated! Check out my blog on my writing at

. . .

"_Letting it get to you. You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts." -The Doctor ('The Doctor's Wife')_

. . .

When she woke, she woke feeling the most rested she'd felt in some time. That didn't mean that her body still didn't ache though. It felt better, but she still hurt. She opened her eyes and at first was taken aback and then remembered that she was safe. She was on the military base. The chair at her bedside was empty.

Rhodey was gone.

Pepper frowned and looked around. She didn't see him anywhere. He'd promised to stay. He wasn't there. She sat up and could see the clock. Maybe he was at breakfast? Maybe he didn't think she'd be up so soon? Maybe… Maybe they'd found Tony and he hadn't wanted to wake her? Her heart raced at that thought.

Turning in the bed, she let her legs fall over the side of the bed. She pushed herself forward until her feet rested on the floor. Her feet were bare and they hurt to touch the floor. She frowned. She needed to get used to it. They'd heal. She still didn't regret ditching the socks outside in the sand. She'd heal.

Pepper put her weight onto her feet as she held onto the bed and groaned lowly. Her whole body hurt even more. She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to concentrate. She shouldn't hurt this much. She was safe and she was almost home and she was being taken care of… Pepper opened her eyes again and took a step. She was going to do it. She knew that Yinsen would tell her that after yesterday she was to rest for two days, but she couldn't do that… She needed to push herself. She needed to find Rhodey…and she needed Tony.

He was out there…

She knew he was.

"Ms. Potts, you're not supposed to be out of bed," a nurse said and hurried to her side.

"Colonel Rhodes," Pepper said and ignored the nurse. "Where is he?"

"I'm not sure, Ma'am," the nurse said. "I haven't seen him at all during my shift."

"I need to find him," Pepper said and didn't care that she was in scrubs. They were clothes and it didn't really matter. The biggest problem was that she didn't have shoes. She had those stupid slipper socks that had a square toe box. Her toes were not square… They didn't fit right…and she'd rather be barefoot anyway. Even if they hurt.

"I'll put out a call, Ma'am," the nurse said. "But I need you to get back into bed."

"I can't do that," Pepper said.

"You're supposed to be on bed rest, Ma'am. Doctor's orders. It says that I can administer pain medication though…and you can have a liquid diet tray. " The nurse made all of that sound really exciting. It wasn't. She'd been on bed rest before, she wasn't too keen on repeating that…at least not without Tony. "I can get those things for you and have Colonel Rhodes paged… The doctor probably just ordered him to get some sleep somewhere other than in a chair in here."

"I'll look for him myself," Pepper insisted.

"Ma'am, I can't allow you to leave," the nurse said. "If you refuse to cooperate, I'll have to alert security—"

"That won't be necessary."

The nurse turned around and immediately nodded at Rhodey. "Of course, Colonel… I was just—"

"She can be stubborn," Rhodey told the nurse. He looked at Pepper. "But I broke my promise… I kept falling off the chair," he told her.

Pepper watched as the nurse disappeared. Rhodey had a small box with him. He set it down on her side table before gently and carefully guiding Pepper back to her bed. Once she was sitting on the edge, he sat back down in his chair. She was frustrated. She didn't like this. She hated being helpless and useless. She wasn't used to either of those things. She strived to be productive and helpful.

"I have brought breakfast though," Rhodey told her and fished a coffee out of the box and handed it to her. "Hopefully you can handle this."

Pepper smiled and accepted the coffee cup from him. "I'm sure whatever you have is better than what they were going to feed me." She was handed some kind of breakfast sandwich that was wrapped in white paper. It would definitely be the most solid food that she'd had in months…and still better than what they wanted to bring her.

"Oh, Colonel, she can't have that," the nurse said seeing them with the food Rhodey had brought. She was carrying Pepper's pain pills and looked quite displeased.

"If she ends up sick, then we'll know it was too much," Rhodey said. "You can blame me then…"

The nurse still looked upset and just handed the pills to Pepper, watched her take them, and then left.

The coffee was warming her from the inside and she hoped that it would help with her energy level. It was one of those days where she could really use the caffeine. She didn't care what they wanted. She wanted to be out and looking for Tony, though she really wasn't sure what Rhodey would say to that. She figured that she'd wait to bring it up. She'd eat some of the sandwich, drink some of the coffee, and prove to Rhodey that she could walk…and then ask him. And if all else failed, she could guilt him.

Tony was out there.

They needed to find him.

"He's been out there all night," she whispered as she swished the coffee around in her cup. Pepper stared down at the coffee as she thought about Tony and if he was okay out there. She'd taken about two bites of the sandwich and had felt like she was just about full already.

"He might be in that cave you were talking about," Rhodey said. "I have men checking the area's cave system…"

. . .

"You're really all about pushing and flat out defying doctor's orders today, aren't you?" Rhodey asked.

They'd eaten breakfast and Pepper had been able to keep down three bites of breakfast sandwich and half a cup of coffee. The doctor had seemed impressed. And now, they were walking around the base. Rhodey had been able to get her something better instead of the scrubs along with a pair of shoes. Rhodey reminded her that they were expecting Obadiah at anytime, but she hadn't wanted to wait.

"I need to find him, Rhodey," she told him. "Let me go with you…maybe something will look familiar…" She was practically begging and just hoped that it would be enough.

"Pep—"

"Please, Rhodey."

"You know you're his personal assistant, not his—"

"I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires," Pepper told him levelly and calmly. It was the same response she would have given anyone else. "And right now he requires that I help him by helping you." She stared at Rhodey and tried to figure out what he was thinking and trying to figure out what he'd say…

"Whatever Tony's paying you, it isn't enough," Rhodey told her. "You need hazard pay."

"You don't know the half of it, I'm sure," Pepper said with some amusement.

"I have to see if I can get it cleared," Rhodey told her. "I'm not the one in charge here… Let me talk to a couple of people and see what I can do. In the meantime, let me take you back to medical."

"Can't I just sit out here?" she asked and found herself looking for a bench to sit on. The sun felt absolutely divine and she was a little terrified of being coped up again so soon…

She didn't miss the look on Rhodey's face. The worry. The concern. The fear. "How long had it been since you'd been outside before yesterday?"

"Five months," she told him. She was still grappling with that fact. It felt more concrete saying it out loud. It was still hard, though…

"They said they wanted more elaborate tests done when you got home," Rhodey told her.

"Yinsen was afraid of spinal damage," Pepper admitted. "I figure if I can walk, then it can't be too bad." Rhodey didn't look too convinced. She was sure he was right though…and she was sure she'd have a few too many tests done once they were comfortably back in Malibu. But right now, they needed to focus on finding Tony. She could wait.

"I know someplace you can sit," Rhodey told her.

"Why do I feel like it comes complete with a babysitter?"

"I won't call in one," Rhodey promised as he guided her in the direction of where this place to sit was. "There just happens to be someone stationed nearby…but that's purely coincidence."

Pepper smiled at him. She really didn't mind and she honestly understood. She appreciated it being someone nearby rather than someone who had to sit there next to her.

. . .

She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there. All she knew was that she was enjoying it. The sun on her skin…and the heat… She was realizing how much she'd taken living in warm and sunny Malibu for granted.

Someone sat down beside her, but she didn't mind. She was too focused on watching the military personnel going by and just thinking. Mostly, it was thinking. She'd been so lost in thought. Thought of so many things… It was his voice that caught her attention before she turned to see his face.

"Beautiful day."

She turned to look at him and couldn't stop the tears that fell from her eyes. He had a huge smile on her face and it was another piece that reminded her of home and how lucky she had had it. Pepper hadn't expected to feel how she felt. She threw her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. She found herself crying into his shoulder and just hoped that she wasn't making too much of a fool of herself.

"I'm glad you're safe," he told her as his hand rubbed her back gently.

"Rhodey would rather I be stuck in the medical ward."

"In all honesty," he told her. "I would prefer that too. Just to be sure that you really are okay…"

He'd obviously been talking to Rhodey. How long had he been on the base? Why didn't anyone tell her? Her mind raced and the tears kept coming.

She pulled back from him, suddenly feeling silly for embracing him like that. "Tony's out there," she told him. Pepper reached up and brushed her tears off of her cheeks. She really did feel silly, but she didn't think he'd hold it against her.

Obadiah Stane.

It was so odd to see him out there. He was in his full suit like he was everyday. He just looked out of place, but she knew that he'd come there for her and Tony. For both of them. And here she was alone…without Tony. She almost felt like she'd failed him in some way. She really tended to be Tony's glorified babysitter…she or Happy always knew where he was and what he was doing. Like she'd failed Stark Industries as a whole because she didn't have Tony at her side.

"I know," Obadiah told her. He sighed as he looked at her. His hand ran gently down her arm. She was wearing a short sleeve shirt, so bruises were easily seen, but she hadn't cared because it was comfortable and cool. He gasped and cringed. "I told him not to bring you here… I told him to let you stay home for your birthday… That he would be fine with just Rhodey…"

"I'm okay," she lied. She wasn't. Not really. Even if Tony were there, she wouldn't be okay. She felt like that was normal, though. It wasn't everything she'd been through…not the torture…not the fearing for her life… It was the not knowing how she felt and why she felt it… Was it real? Would it still be there? She was just so confused.

"Pepper," Obadiah scolded lightly. "Don't tell me that… Rhodey told me…"

She bowed her head slightly. "They told me that they were supposed to kill Tony," she confessed as fresh tears fell from her face. She looked up at him. It was like she was reliving it. Reliving that terrible moment when Raza had her tied to a chair. "He wanted to know if Stark Industries would pay a ransom…but I didn't know… And Tony wasn't doing what they wanted…at least not at the speed they wanted…" She shook her head.

"I would have paid anything they wanted to get you back," Obadiah told her. "We even reached out and put a plea on the television here and in the papers… We never received any kind of contact." He reached out and cupped her cheek. "You're safe now… I've brought clothes and things for you… The doctors want you on the next plane out of here. So, you're going to be on that plane and I'll make sure you get whatever you need to speed your recovery along."

"No!" she shouted quickly as she realized what Obadiah had just said. She couldn't just leave! She needed to stay! Was no one listening to her? Tony was out there! He was alive! They couldn't just pack up and go home! She needed to be there when he was found… "I can't just leave!"

"Pepper," Obadiah told her softly and ran his hand along her shoulder. "Their medical facilities are not as good as the ones in Malibu… They're concerned about a few things… They said you really shouldn't be up and walking… You could be further injuring yourself."

"I_ have_ to be here for Tony," she told him sternly. She wasn't leaving. She couldn't. Pepper's eyes were flooding now with tears. They didn't understand. None of them understood. She just wanted to walk back out into the desert and start searching for him herself. "He's going to expect to see me… He'll be looking for me."

"Rhodey is here," Obadiah told her. "He'll tell Tony that you're safe…that I've taken you home to get better care... He won't be upset. I think he'd be more upset to find out that you put off treatment that you need," Obadiah told her.

She just stared at him. She didn't know what to think. Pepper looked away from him for a moment as she tried to collect her thoughts. Why didn't he understand? Why was he so concerned about her? Tony was the name of Stark Industries and its heir. They needed to find him. There was no one else. Tony was the mind behind the bulk of the weapons that were designed, built, and then sold to the military. Without Tony, it just wouldn't be the same.

His hand was running down her hair and she was sure that he was trying to be comforting, but it only reminded her of Tony. It only made her cry more. It only brought to mind the thoughts of him holding her in that cave…of him pressing his forehead against hers…of him kissing her forehead…of him stroking her hair in order to help relax her so that she could finally sleep.

"He's alive out there," she whispered.

"You have to entertain the possibility that he might not have," Obadiah told her.

She shook her head. Pepper just kept remembering the plans that Tony had drawn up. She remembered listening to Yinsen repeat over and over again how many steps it was to get out of the cave and which way to turn. Tony had built the armor. He had to have made it out. He and Yinsen were out there… They were probably looking for her even though she'd made him promise to get himself to safety.

"He didn't plan for us to get split up," she told him simply. "He's probably out there looking for me…"

"Pepper…"

"I know you must think I sound silly or overly unrealistic…but I was in that cave with him for five months… I've worked with him for years. I know what he's capable of," Pepper told him as she turned back to stare at him.

He was out there.

"Mr. Stane. Ms. Potts. Colonel Rhodes wants me to escort you to the front gates, he says there's something you're going to want to see," one of the nearby men announced.

"They're probably going to try to convince us to take the convoy back," Obadiah told her. "It's three hours to Kabul that way… I don't think it's good for you to have to go through that… I'll have a copter come in and pick us up. Safer that way." He got up just the same and offered her his hand.

Pepper took it a bit reluctantly. She didn't know how she felt about what Obadiah was saying. The convoy would give her the ability to look for Tony, but then…the last time she was in a convoy…it had been blown up. She really didn't care… She just wanted to buy more time. She needed them to understand that she couldn't just leave. Not like this… Not yet…

Obadiah took her hand and looped it through his arm and they walked slowly towards the entrance to the camp, which wasn't far from where they were. They followed the man and Pepper hoped that it was really going to be Rhodey saying that she could go out there to look for Tony.

. . .

"What's going on?" Obadiah asked.

"We've got a group coming back," Rhodey responded. "They were vague. All they said was that they found someone. They didn't say if it was a man or a woman or any description… I wanted you to both be here…just in case."

Pepper suddenly wondered if it was Rhosad. Wouldn't they know Tony Stark? Tony's face was plastered all over media and even though deployed knew what he looked like. He was a celebrity and she couldn't see them not radioing that in. Even in the state that she'd last seen him in, there was no denying who he was.

"She should be sitting down," Obadiah told Rhodey.

"I'm fine," Pepper told them.

A small group of vehicles approached Camp Joyce and Pepper told herself not to hope too much. She was still very worried that Rhosad had given his life to ensure that she reached the military camp safely. She wouldn't forget that…

The vehicles entered and stopped right inside. Those guarding the entrance shut the gate and they turned their attention to the group that had just entered. Pepper stood back with Rhodey and Obadiah and just waited. For all they knew, it wasn't Rhosad, Yinsen, or Tony…

Men in desert camo exited the vehicle and they seemed to talk amongst themselves and be in no real hurry. One of the doors was opened and the men turned their attention to whoever was getting out. They blocked her view, so Pepper just tried to stay back and be patient. They were trying to get him to let them help him, but he wasn't allowing it, instead he pushed through and stumbled a bit.

It was like a miracle…

Tony Stark had been found and brought back to Camp Joyce…and though he looked much worse than when she left him…he was alive. "Tony!" she found herself whispering.

"How the hell—" Obadiah started to say.

She didn't care about anyone else right now. She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him. "Tony," she whispered again. His arms were around him and he was weakly laughing in her ear. "I knew you were okay," she whispered as tears came again.

"I was looking for you," he whispered. His legs started to buckle and Pepper was unable to hold them both up, but when they crumpled to their knees, neither cared. They held on, as if for dear life. He put his hands on both sides of her face and pulled away. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you? Did they—"

Pepper stared at him as he rambled on. There was so much in his eyes. So much that she'd never seen before. It scared her and excited her all at the same time. She didn't want to wait… She didn't want to see if things were different. She moved her hands to the side of his head and pulled him in, their lips meeting and she closed her eyes as she allowed the world around them to melt. And for the first time, they kissed…and Pepper wasn't sure if it was better than the almost kiss that Yinsen had interrupted, but it was what she needed…what she was sure they both needed.

They parted for only a moment to breathe and the grin on his face matched hers. "Does it count as sexual harassment if you kiss me?" Tony teased.

"Oh, shut up," she whispered before kissing him again. It was perhaps the best and worst decisions she'd made in her whole life.

There were clearing of throats behind them and Pepper finally realized that she'd just kissed her boss in front of not only Rhodey, but Obadiah. She pulled away from him and rested her head on his shoulder, trying to banish the blush away. Could they really blame them? They'd been held captive together for five months and they'd known each other for so long…with Tony sober…he was a completely different person.

"So…um…I see you guys took your time finding us…" Tony finally said a bit awkwardly.

"Pepper found us," Rhodey told him.

She dared not look back at them. Not yet. She couldn't. She was sure that her face was still red. It was bad enough that they'd been babying her and trying to run her life. She didn't need to feel completely embarrassed in front of them. Thank God, Tony had been found. Pepper knew that she'd have gone completely crazy if she'd been shipped home with Obadiah and had left him behind…

"That's my girl," Tony told her with a proud grin.

. . .

TBC…


	10. All That Counts

**Title:** All That Counts

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** Iron Man and Avengers do not belong to me, but Marvel Entertainment and Disney. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** MA

**Summary:** Pepper accompanies Tony everywhere. The weapons demonstration for the military in Afghanistan is no different. An AU to "Iron Man".

**Warning: **none

**Author's Note:** This is the FINAL chapter for this story! I have had MANY requests to do a sequel… I'll happily do one, but it's going to have to wait until I'm finished with the third fic for the series I'm working on!

. . .

"_Letting it get to you. You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts." -The Doctor ('The Doctor's Wife')_

. . .

"I think you two are having a stubborn contest," Rhodey told them.

Pepper was adjusting Tony's clothes for about the third time. They'd ended up spending two extra days at Camp Joyce since Tony was declared unable to travel. With him on bed rest, she'd given in and actually rested. She was pretty sure that she'd slept through at least one of the days…

So far the medics knew about the arc reactor and had been keeping a special eye on that area in order to ensure that he wasn't catching infection, but he also had fractured his ankle (which he'd walked on for some time) and his arm. There were also the ribs…and luckily none had punctured his lung.

"Can we have a minute?" Tony asked Rhodey.

Obadiah had left the day before, feeling the need to return back to Malibu in order to make sure everything was in order at Stark Industries. Obadiah had seemed completely in shock that Tony had made it out alive. Pepper was pretty sure that both Obadiah and Rhodey thought that they were crazy and possibly suffering from Stockholm Syndrome after they'd tried to explain what had happened…

Yinsen was dead.

Pepper didn't know how to grieve for his loss. Tony had told her that Yinsen's family had been killed and that everything he'd said about his family…was probably just him coping and trying to get through the day. It was hard though; Yinsen had been part of their lives for five months… He'd taken care of them and made sure that they survived… He was part of the reason that she was alive and about to get on a plane to go home…

"Yeah, sure… But this plane actually has to leave on time," Rhodey told him. "It's not on your timetable."

"I'll make sure we don't take long," Pepper told Rhodey as she looked down at her watch.

She looked up at him and frowned slightly. He looked sickly, but it was because of the bruises…they'd turned a yellowish hue. "Is there something wrong, Mr. Stark?" she asked. He had kept adjusting his tie and she'd kept fixing it. He was in a boot until they got home, they just wanted to keep things stabilized, but they'd managed to get it to fit under his pants and she'd made the shoes fit well enough.

"Pepper," he whispered as his hand came up to her cheek. He stroked it for a moment as he just stared at her. The silence was maddening, but at the same time…it was nice for them to have time alone. This was the first time they'd had any kind of 'alone time' since the morning they'd woken up together and almost kissed. "No more Mr. Stark…"

She just stared at him. "Did you hit your head? Rhodey said that you were a little shaky earlier…"

Tony frowned at her. His disapproval was obvious. "Things are going to change when we get home."

"Nothing drastic…not for at least a few days," she requested. "Obadiah's promised me at least a few days off…"

"I thought I was your boss?"

Pepper smiled. "He's going to call in a nurse… I'm sure you'll be very happy with his selection…"

"Is this nurse you?" he teased.

"No."

"Then I don't want her…or him… Knowing Obadiah, he might send me a him…"

Pepper beamed at him and swayed a bit. She had to admit, it was nice to be back in their own clothing and back to their bantering. It made things normal. "You're probably right… But we can't have you not taking your pills…or down in the workshop…or generally unsupervised…"

"Then come supervise me," Tony told her.

"I need sleep, Tony," she told him quite sternly. "I miss my bed."

"I guarantee that mine is more comfortable," Tony told her.

She eyed him for a moment. "We can't have this conversation, Tony," she said. Her voice was sad and yet serious.

"Why not?"

"I shouldn't have kissed you," she told him, the last part a whisper. It hurt her to even think about it. They couldn't… And she'd kissed him in front of Rhodey and Obadiah. What they must think of her… And her job! She loved her job! Even if Tony could be completely impossible…she loved it.

"Don't say that…"

"I like my job," she told him.

"Why are you worrying about your job?" Tony asked her. He stared at her. "Did Obadiah say something?"

She shook her head and looked down, her hand on his tie again. "We're going home… People will talk—"

"So let them talk!"

"Tony—"

"Do you regret it? …I mean the kiss? The kisses? Our moments together when Yinsen wasn't yelling at us to come to breakfast?"

"No…" she whispered.

"So, don't do this… Don't push me out…" he told her. He lifted her chin with his finger and stared into her blue eyes. "When in all of the years that you've known me have you seen me like this?"

"This bruised?" she teased.

He grinned. "You know what I mean…"

"You've never been sober…" she whispered. "I like it, by the way…" In all the years she'd worked for him, he'd never been sober. Captivity might have been forced rehab, but it did other things…it changed him in other ways. It changed them.

"What are you worried about? What are you _really _worried about?" he asked her.

It was a loaded question. There were so many things she was worried about. Where did she start? Did he really want to hear it all? "Too many things to tell you about before we have to get onto that plane," she told him. It was back to schedules. It was back to how things used to be. She needed to make sure he got on that plane on time…not on Tony schedule. It was one thing if it was one of theirs… This one wasn't.

"You've avoiding the question."

She was.

"Tony—"

"I'm not leaving until you answer…"

Pepper sighed. Tony really hadn't changed _that_ much. Sometimes he was like a three year old having a tantrum. "Rhodey—"

"Rhodey knows better than to expect me to be on time," Tony told her. "Let's not have his standards set too high…messes it up for me when I decide that I'm too busy to meet him at noon and reschedule without telling him until three."

Pepper frowned at him. "You're impossible."

"I know," Tony told her. "I'm thinking that's why you stay."

"I tell you and then we can go?" Pepper asked, trying to make sure she understood fully.

"That's correct."

Biting her lip, she looked back over her shoulder to see if Rhodey was coming back yet and then looked down at her watch.

"Are you really worried about what Rhodey might think?" he asked.

She turned back to Tony and could tell that he was a bit hurt to think that. She tilted her head and frowned deeply. "We have to go back to the lives we lived before… So, I do have to think about how it's going to look to Rhodey…to Obadiah…to Happy—"

"Really? You're bringing Happy into this?"

She frowned deeper at him. "To my coworkers at Stark Industries…to the media…"

"You do realize that _you're_ the one who kissed _me_ in front of Obadiah _and _Rhodey?" Tony asked.

Pepper frowned. He was right, of course…but she was hoping that he wouldn't bring it up. "I know," she whispered. "But that's not the same… I can't… I can't be one of those girls, Tony…"

"You don't want to be associated with my other relationships?"

"They were all one nightstands, Tony," Pepper told him as if he was insane for calling them relationships, because he was. She shook her head. "I took care of escorting them out of the house every morning… Don't you think I'd think about that? To think about my reputation?"

"They don't understand!" Tony practically shouted at her.

She just stopped and stared at him.

It was as if she'd hit a brick wall.

He was exactly right.

No one else understood.

Only they did.

"You're right," she finally said quietly after a few minutes.

"I think that's the first time you've ever said that to me," Tony told her a moment later.

Pepper smiled at him. "Don't expect to hear it again anytime soon."

"Don't push me away, Pepper," Tony told her. "We both went through hell together… And maybe it's all my fault—"

"It's not your fault," she said quickly.

He stared at her. "If I hadn't made you come—"

"Stop!" she shouted at him and reached out to place a finger on his lips. Tears were running down her face. Her mind kept flashing back to the cave. To all of those moments they had. She didn't regret them. She couldn't. Tony was one of the reasons why she'd survived that hell. She wasn't going to deny it. "You can't do that… You can't go through 'what ifs'… I was here with you… We're both alive. That's all that counts…"

It was all that counted.

They were alive.

They could go home.

Yinsen couldn't.

Yinsen lost his life.

Probably Raza and Rhosad.

All of the soldiers in the humvee convoy when they were attacked that died…

Not everyone lived.

They were the lucky ones…

No matter how much they'd suffered…

They were the lucky ones…

They couldn't forget that.

"Pepper, I don't want to lose you," he whispered and tears fell from his eyes as well. He pulled her to him and rested his forehead against hers. Their tears mingled and he sighed. He kissed her forehead. "Don't make us go back to how things were…" He pulled back enough so that he could stare into her face. "I don't want that… And I _need_ you… _I need you, Pepper_… More than I've needed anyone else in my life…"

"You're just noticing that?" she asked with a small laugh as tears continued to fall. He laughed too. "For a genius, sometimes you're really slow…do you know that?"

"I have someone to remind me of that," he said as he reached up to brush a stray strand out of her face. "What do you say, Pepper?"

"I'm confused about what I'm agreeing to," she told him honestly. Did he just want her to go back as his 'girlfriend'. That seemed like such an odd word for her relationship with Tony… Did he want her back still as his assistant? How were things going to be different?

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about… I don't want Stark weapons in the hands of terrorists… They shouldn't be firing on our troops… I want to find out why and how they have them…" Tony told her. "I want the company to go in a different direction…"

"Tony—"

"I know it sounds crazy…but I have an idea, Pepper… If you'll just trust me…"

"You know I do."

Tony stared at her for a minute. "Rhodey's going to freak out…"

"Rhodey?" Pepper asked. "You're worried about Rhodey? What about Obadiah and the board?"

Tony shrugged. "They can deal with it."

"What are you going to tell them?"

"Stark Industries is to stop all productions of weapons until we find out what's going on… Until we find out how Raza and his men got that cache of weapons… They were supposed to go to our men…" Tony told her.

"You have to tell them something else," Pepper tried to tell him. "Obadiah is going to want something equally as beneficial to the company to show the board if you really expect them to halt all production."

"I know," Tony told her. "I'm thinking about it."

"Think fast."

He grinned. "I always do…"

She rolled her eyes and then heard Rhodey yelling behind them. She turned for a moment and frowned. She looked down at her watch. Tony had kept her longer than she'd expected. Pepper turned to say something to Tony when she found his lips against hers. It pulled the breath from her body and she found herself sinking into the kiss and his embrace. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him. She wondered if he was trying to further convince her… If he was, this was convincing…

"You two can do that at home!" Rhodey yelled.

Pepper felt blush rising in her cheeks and looked down once they parted. "Oh God…" she whispered.

"What?"

"He's on the plane ride home… How long is the flight?"

"Too long…"

"This is what he's going to be talking about the whole ride home."

Tony shrugged and then pulled her to him again and initiated another kiss. This time it was deeper and with far more feeling. Pepper felt like she was tingling all over and knew that this was just going to make the plane ride longer… When they parted, she felt like she needed to catch her breath again.

"Tony—"

"I had to give him something to really talk about," Tony told her.

Pepper smiled and shook her head.

"Pep," he said as he pulled her close and pressed a kiss to her head. "Don't break my heart…"

She tapped where she knew the arc reactor was in his chest. "I think someone already beat me to it…" she teased. He grinned in response. Pepper leaned in and kissed his temple before whispering into his ear. "Don't break my heart, Mr. Stark…" She took a moment to fix his tie and jacket.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Ms. Potts," he told her with a smile and then held his arm out for her. She took it and he started to escort her to where a very irritated looking Rhodey was standing. "Let's go, Rhodey!"

"Are you sure?" Rhodey asked as he walked alongside of them.

"I think I left JARVIS on, so you know…I should go home and tend to that…"

"You sure? Because I might be able to get you two a room," Rhodey said.

"I have one of those…in Malibu," Tony countered. "I'm sure the bed is comfier than one you could find here… Maybe that should be the next Stark contribution to the military…"

Pepper just sighed and covered her face as they went back and forth. No one watching would realize how badly hurt Tony was… But this was how she knew he really was okay deep down… The banter… If there was banter, then he was okay…really okay…

"You know I'm not letting this go…"

"You're making Pepper blush…"

"She should have thought about that before getting mixed up with you," Rhodey told him. Rhodey turned in her direction, she could see between her fingers. "You're too good for him, Pepper. You deserve better than Tony…"

"Probably," Pepper mumbled as she let her hand fall back to her side.

"I'm hurt," Tony teased.

Pepper grinned at him. "You shouldn't be…"

"He is right, though," Tony told her. "You _are_ too good for me."

. . .

The End.

**End Author's Note:** Besides knowing that I already am planning on doing a sequel… I just wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed or PMed me about this fic! I really appreciate it! It helps me to know that I'm writing the characters correctly and the story! Sometimes you guys also inspire me to write things a certain way!

If you haven't already checked it out, please check out my new blog: I'll most likely have any information on stories that are on my list to write…and you may be able to see how long you'll have to wait for those stories… There's already commentary for all of the other stories I've written that are up… I started doing it for this fic, but haven't finished it yet… It'll be up probably this weekend…


End file.
